Loyalty.

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What Did You Gain Or Lose By Taking A Risk?

I am not much of a risk taker, or, more accurately, there were not many instances when I had to take risks. I can think of three major risks that I took about all of which I have written separately in my earlier blogs but this is a summary of the three to address this week’s 2 on 1 weekly Friday blog post where my consort Shackman and I write on the same subject. This week’s topic has been suggested by Shackman who has just taken a big decision about which I am sure he will write this week. Please do go over to his blog to see what he has to say.

The first risk that I took in my life was when I was all of 22 when I decided to quit my well settled job and life in Chennai to go to Business School for a two year course. I was more or less constrained to take the risk as I had to handle some ticklish personal issues in Chennai and prudence suggested that I remove myself from the scene for a while. I took the risk and the rest as it is said, is history.

Business School, a novel concept in India at that time, resulted in my being recruited off campus by a multinational company where I spent the next twenty three years in a successful career. While I lost the carefree lifestyle of a bachelor by going to the BS, I gained a great career and made many friends, many of whom are still part of my life.

The next big risk that I took was three years later when I was 25. It was a deliberate one of asking my late wife who was till then a friend, to marry me. I lost my bachelor status but gained a partner for the next forty years plus all that marriage brought along with it including a great son.

The third big risk that I took was to quit my employer of 23 years to seek my fortune elsewhere. I took that decision as I knew that I would be uncomfortable with the future direction that the company took and in retrospect, all that I had foreseen took place and I have no regrets whatsoever. Taking that risk exposed me to four other experiences of differing types and those experiences were priceless. Here too, I gained in stature and made many friends some of whom are still very much part of my life.

By taking those three big decisions, I did not lose much but, gained a great deal and the gains are still working for me in my retired life. I have no regrets.

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Relocating.

My fellow 2 on 1 Friday blogger Shackman has recently relocated to California and I was inspired to suggest this topic by that move. Please go over to Shackman’s blog to see how he tackles the topic.

My pre-marriage and the first year after that was life living out of a suitcase from the age of 16 for me. I had relocated a few times between Hyderabd and Chennai/Mumbai and also Ahmedabad before my marriage in November 1968. Relocating was simply a matter of packing my suitcase and moving to a hotel, hostel or paying guest accommodation and did not make for much effort or difficulty.

The first home we set up after marriage was in Delhi and since it was for a stay of just a few months, we had taken a barsati on rent and hired furniture and bare minimum utensils and a stove but both of us lived off suitcases.

The first proper home that we lived in was in Mumbai between 1970 and mid 1973 when we acquired furniture, cooking utensils, linen, etc and when we had to move to Kolkata, we were exposed for the first time to relocating with major packing, discarding etc but, the redeeming feature of the exercise was that we could hire professional packers and movers who did the dirty work, stored the stuff till we found accommodation at Kolkata and unpacked for us too.

From that first move, we relocated to Kerala, back to Mumbai on three occasions, Delhi and Bengaluru and finally to Pune in 1990 where we bought our home where I continue to live till date. During these relocations we moved and set up new homes on eight separate occasions till we put in our final roots.

I had to relocate on two separate occasions afterwards to Tirupur but since it was to furnished accommodation on both occasions I simply had to pack a suitcase. Whenever Urmeela came to stay with me there, she too simply had to come with a packed suitcase. So those two relocations were not really relocations in the true sense.

The only major disruption that we experienced during the relocations was in the schooling of our son Ranjan which, we once even had to solve by admitting him to a boarding school for three years. In retrospect, those three years were also the most disturbing for both of us despite frequent meetings with him at his school as well as his coming home for his vacations. Another experience that I would not wish on anyone.

I can therefore confidently assert that I am a seasoned and well-experienced relocator. I would not like to do that again though as I am now too well ensconced in my comfort zone in Pune where it will be three decades next year, since we relocated.

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Ready To Go.

Welcome back to the Friday 2 on 1 blog posts where Shackman and I write on the same topic. There was a break for a few weeks while Shackman went off for a reunion and he is now settled and raring to go at it again. So am I.

I am one of those highly disciplined fellows who is always ready to go. There is always a set of washed and ironed clothes in the wardrobe, simply waiting to be worn to go out as are a pair of polished shoes. My chest of drawers contains all the essentials that I need to carry with me when I go out like my wallet with my club /credit and identity cards plus of course enough money to meet any emergencies.

My cell phone is always charged and ready to go without charging for a few hours. I am also usually well fed and will be able to manage without food for a few hours.

Sounds creepy and unnatural? That is because I was a travelling salesman all my life and had a packed suit case ready to take with me on emergency trips. Those years of such living has to leave its imprint on one’s personality what?

I am also a sort of planner. For instance, if I know that I have to go to meet somebody, I will arrange for the gift/s to be ready well before it is time to leave and those packages are kept along with my walking stick so that I do not forget to take them. Any number of such tricks have been ingrained over years and so I can claim to be one who is always Ready To Go.

Do please visit Shackman’s blog to see what he has to say on the subject.

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Loners.


Despite sharing a home with my daughter in love and son along with two dogs, I believe that I am a loner as I would prefer to be left alone to do things that I enjoy doing rather than be in a crowd lost. While I do enjoy company I don’t feel uncomfortable without it and do not go around actively seeking it.

This definition of a loner is rather different from the classical ones but, I simply cannot think of any word to describe people like us who are comfortable with solitude.

I know that there are a lot of others among my readers who too are like that and hence thought that this video should be shared among them.

Posted in People, Philosophy, Relationships, You Tube | 14 Comments

Lunch 2.

When I saw this forward in my WhatsApp screen, the first thought that came to my mind was that I should have asked for this form the last time that I had lunch out with my family.

This is another side of the nomophobia problem. There could well be positive uses as well!

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Peace.

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Fulfillment And Unfulfillment.

“No one achieves complete success in life but, even partial fulfilment is attained by but, a few. Unfulfilment is the normal condition of man.” ~ Irawati Karve.

This post has been inspired by Ekoshapu’s post on Reunion. Since I attend reunions regularly, what the poem says resonates with me.

The heartthrob of the school,

is a man grim and somber.

That lanky little girl,

is now a weightlifter.

The topper of the class,

is a happy homemaker.

Back bencher of the lot,

is an entrepreneur.

The flamboyant fashionista,

became a dreaded lawyer.

Oft ignored average Joe,

turned a well known writer.

The one who failed math paper,

is a fashion designer,

and one who often got to stand outside the class,

is a respected army officer.

The reunion taught me how,

people come with many layers,

and told me why we should,

never judge a book by its cover…

Let’s remember this every time we step into our classes;

Each child is a potential success story!! Lets help them write it

On reflecting on the topic, it also occurred to me that in these reunions, one rarely comes across someone talking about how s/he has failed whereas irrespective of whether one came from a background of privilege and money or the absence of it, the successes inevitably talked about it and maintained that they are self made successes. As a corollary, I suppose that the failures are also self made failures but, they are unwilling to admit it. They will blame everything possible other than themselves for their failures. Usually, the government, competition or often, bankers.

To reinforce this trend of thought, I have recently had to interact with two young friends of both categories and I dug up the Nightingale quote for the latter. He was quite stunned that it had not occurred to him and we spent quite a long time discussing how things could have been different had he done somethings differently or not done somethings at all. Since he is quite a determined sort, he has perhaps understood the situation and will try again.

To the former, it was easier to point out the advantages that he had to start with before he became an entrepreneur to deflate his ego a bit and give some credit to his parents and background. Subsequently, his father rang me up to thank me for doing that! I must have done something right for the news to reach the father!

Which brings me to the second quote on unfulfilment being the norm for most of us.  I think that Irawati Karve has hit the nail on the head but, am willing to be corrected by any of my reader/s who may think otherwise.

Posted in Blogging, Philosophy, Poetry, Self Improvement | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Crossword Puzzles.

Since my retirement, I spend every morning reading five newspapers and solving the seven crossword puzzles that appear in them. As my family and friends say, it keeps me out of mischief.

On the days that the papers do not come following national holidays, I am lost in the mornings and you can easily sense that I am out of sorts on those days as it recently happened on August 16, 2019 the following our Independence Day when two friends who had called me up on the phone were puzzled at my mood till I explained to them my predicament. That experience has taught me to keep a couple of crossword puzzle books in stock so that I can spend some time on them on such days.

A most frustrating aspect of solving crossword puzzles in when I am stumped for answers. I can spend hours on the thesaurus, dictionaries, telephone calls to friends to find solutions. I have known to even make overseas calls to find answers for clues pertaining to the UK or the USA.   Often, the last resort, Mr. Google also is of no help.  There are some setters of cryptic clues who, in my opinion are simply sadists.

And the relief in finding the answer the next morning when the solutions are published, is only surpassed usually by the feeling that I should kick myself for not having thought of such obvious answers!

This post was inspired by the following joke.

A girl is doing a crossword puzzle…

“What’s a 7-letter word for ‘easily perceived or understood’ that starts with ‘O’?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It should be, but I can’t figure it out. That’s why I’m asking.”

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Telephony.

This ‘nostalgia’ forward by a friend on WhatsApp, following my post on Nomophobia, took me back to the time in India when first, they had to advertise to get people to subscribe to the service, then the time when people had to wait for years before they could get a connection and finally the time when cellphone service providers and handset makers are back advertising telephony. A full cycle indeed.

I don’t remember the times when the telephone company advertised for landline connections. We did not have a telephone connection at home till my mid teen years and we were told not to use it unless for emergency purposes. I distinctly remember neighbours pleading to be allowed to not only make calls but, also to receive calls in emergencies. My late wife’s family did not have a phone connection in the early years of our marriage and we would call their neighbour to request someone from there to be called to receive a call after a few minutes. This was when Direct Dialling had been introduced but, prior to that, we used to make person to person calls either from our phone or from post offices. Now, we can not only make direct phone calls, we can video call too using whatsapp! What a change!

Such change however brings with it, its own dangers as well as these two clips show.

Posted in India, Sociology, Uncategorized, WhatsApp | Tagged | 9 Comments