Change And What If.

Shackman has suggested that both of us answer the following question for this week’s 2 on 1 Friday Blog Post. Please do go over to his blog to see what he has to say.

What single event – with a different result, would have caused the most changes in your life? Discuss those changes.

The single event that was more or less tectonic in its impact on my life was my late wife’s multiple cerebral and cardiac infarcts. This happened when I was 56 and at my peak career wise. I had to wind up all that involved, to become a 24/7 care giver for her.

Two other results, one, she was cured completely and the other, she succumbed and died could have both had the same impact on my life.

I would have simply returned to my career and reached further heights and made more money in the bargain. I would have retired after a few years definitely and even then, my life would have been vastly different than how it turned out to be.

For one, on retirement,  had Urmeela recovered fully, to start with, she and I would have travelled extensively within India with my showing her places that I had visited during my field selling days which, she had not. After we would have finished that, say, in a few years’ time, we would have retired to a farm house that we had planned and lived there as country folk visiting the city only occasionally but, providing a weekend home for our son Ranjan to enjoy breaks.  Had she died, I doubt very much that these would have happened.  I would have simply retired and lived the way that I have been living since her death.

Having said all that, let me add that I have no regrets. None whatsoever.

And to add a poignant song as a tribute to a lady that both my wife and I admired not only for this song but also for her acting prowesses here is a clip that I hope you will enjoy.

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18 Responses to Change And What If.

  1. Mike Goad says:

    Some events — and/or decisions — can certainly make a huge difference on the course of one’s life. I don’t know what I would have done if Karen had developed some debilitating disorder while I was still working. I probably wouldn’t have been able to quit before retirement age to care for her as I would have lost health insurance coverage. After retirement age, while I would have retained the insurance, I’m not sure that the income would have been sufficient to care for her and not work.

    My single most significant decision, though I sure didn’t know it at the time, was joining the Navy in its nuclear power program. While I would like to think that I would have done well if I had gone a different route, I just don’t know. I certainly would not have met Karen. Employment prospects weren’t good at the time as I had little practical experience and no transportation. Things would likely have picked up, but……
    Mike Goad recently posted..‘Tis the season!

    • Unless one has a cut and dry development in one’s life like I had, it is difficult to come up with one, answer to the question. Most people face many turning points in their lives and in retrospect, wonder what would have happened had events turned out differently. I had my share of them but, nothing as major as my wife’s illness.

  2. shackman says:

    I am not really sure how I came to choose this topic. I literally woke up with the thought in my head and went with it.

    Lynn’s disease and death certainly caused some changes – retirement to me is really nothineng but a olossal pain in the butt – between Lynn’s condition and another major factor I retired when RadioShack went bankrupt. I now live in a state I hate but am dealing with it, but still the main event that changed my life was my grandfather’s passing which I wrote about.

    • Having followed your blog posts over many years, I know that you have had more than just one major turning point in your life. Your choice of your grandfather’s death caught me totally unawares as I don’t think that you have ever mentioned it before. All said and done, it was a good topic to write on.

  3. Wisewebwoman says:

    I think falling pregnant and having to emigrate to Canada from Ireland was my life’s biggest game changer.

    I don’t know how life would have been if I hadn’t gotten pregnant and stayed in Ireland. Not as good, for sure, as it is, and remains, in Canada.

    So I have no regrets even for the loves lost or my Irish life which would have rendered me most unhappy I believe.
    XO
    WWW

    • For some, such changes are for the better as it happened to you and for some it can have serious negative repercussions. In my case, it was neutral as I could retire and focus on my wife’s recovery whereas at that age, many would have found it extremely difficult.

  4. Ursula says:

    Forgive me if this is in bad taste. The fact my mother decided against aborting me was a life changer for me. The rest is incidental.

    U

  5. nick says:

    I suppose the obvious possibility is that I met Jenny but she had no special interest in me and/or vice versa. We may simply have become friends and our long relationship and everything that resulted from it would never have happened. I would have continued looking for a life partner and who knows, I might have found one or I might have remained single.

  6. Kylie says:

    I wonder what my life would have been had I married a different person…. Or maybe the real game changer would have been full time study rather than part time….

    • It is difficult to choose one event like I could because it was an unusual event. For most people such big earth shattering events don’t take place. Your speculating about the two events now shows how difficult it is to choose one event.

  7. Kaitlin says:

    I was very touched by this. And, coincidentally, about one hour ago was remembering my Father asking this same question when we visited the state where I was born many years ago. It was very interesting to then read your post. For me I was thinking of career choices.

  8. a couple of things have changed my pathway – but in some ways it doesn’t now matter…”water under the bridge”
    Catherine de Seton recently posted..Cards, books, lots of fun

    • Normally I would have not reminisced like I did for this post but, the topic was one that made me reflect and be totally honest about it. Yes, it is all water under the bridge indeed.

  9. Oh, just thirty minutes ago, my patient and I were talking about that very song. I think life unfolds as it will – no sense in spending time regretting or thinking about all the “what ifs.”

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