Children And The Ocean.

children and ocean

I love children. You will love them more than you already do when you read what was sent to me by an inveterate forwarder of mails.

A class of youngsters were asked to write about the ocean. By the time you finish reading this you should be able to ace a test on oceanography.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3. If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5. A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9. I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)

15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

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19 Responses to Children And The Ocean.

  1. Yes, children say cute things, but I’m afraid I’m much more attracted to dogs. 🙂
    Cheerful Monk recently posted..Cherry and Poppy

  2. Gotta love it. Electric eels with chargers. Good stuff.

  3. Alan G says:

    Some funny stuff Ramana. Brings back memories of the old “Art Linkletter Show” and his segment on the show where he interviewed kids. 🙂
    Alan G recently posted..Looking back 60 years… it was July of 1954.

  4. tammyj says:

    oh my gosh.
    loved every one of them!!!
    tammyj recently posted..jerkin’ your chain?

  5. Grannymar says:

    A few giggles there.
    Grannymar recently posted..Meet Hedley

  6. Most of those are funny/cute. But #9 is sad – I hope someone talked to that little girl.

  7. Ursula says:

    Mermaid greetings,
    Ursula recently posted..Crown Court

  8. nick says:

    Is there a giant plug that keeps all the water in the oceans? (Nick, age 67).

    Clearly Julie, age 7, needs a few lessons in tact.
    nick recently posted..One night stands

  9. Becky Byrd says:

    Ah, the wisdom of children! 😉

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