Food For Thought.

When I looked around for an inspiring thought for today, I found this image in the internet.

This took me on a different quest for something that I had read some time ago. Let me give my own reactions to the five regrets listed there for this post.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I honestly believe that I have lived my life as it evolved without ever wanting to change it and welcoming events as they took place. Perhaps that is why, I have come to this three score and ten plus years stage with hardly any stress which surprises the medical profession no end.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I never worked “so” hard. And, I am not being facetious at all. When I worked I enjoyed every moment of it.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

This has been a weakness but not something that I would regret as not having had the courage. I would say that I was concerned about the other’s feelings and so avoided expressing my own feelings. There have however been instances when I had indeed expressed my feelings without any restraint when those feelings were on the positive side.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

As my readers well know, I have and so this is not a regret that I have at all.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I have let myself be a happy person and bar those unfortunate losses which gave me sadness, my life has by and large been a happy one.

At the end of the Guardian article this question is asked “What’s your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?”

My answer is simple. I lost my wife too soon. I have no big ambitions left and no desires to change anything. My oft repeated prayer is a Sanskrit one which simply asks for a death that is no trouble to me or my near and dear ones and a life without penury. I have the latter and hope that I will get the former too.

As a post script, let me add another paragraph to discuss the contents of the image given above. Among the unstated regrets that most men have in their lives is one that is rarely if ever openly admitted to. They would like to lead lives as depicted in the song Wandering Star and My Way. Highly impractical former and possible but not likely in the latter. I too have had my share of longing for both and like to hear the songs every now and then just to go gaga! I am sure that there must be songs with similar thoughts for women and I will appreciate some of my readers leading me to them.

Pravin had suggested the topic for this week’s LBC Friday post. You can see what the other writers of the LBC have to say in their respective blogs.  Maria, Pravin and Shackman.

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33 Responses to Food For Thought.

  1. Kylie says:

    I also have few regrets and those I have, I try to learn from.

    I wonder if I will feel the same way in 20 or 30 years time?

  2. Ursula says:

    I think the “wandering star” is most young men’s game. And, from observation, those who followed their star (and not all do) have few regrets in their advanced years.

    As much as I don’t like Frank Sinatra, the man, that song is a perfect summoning up of how life should be lived, and chiming with point No. 1 on the list of regrets of people on their deathbed. I am confident, and happy, to say that the Angel has all the determination, belief and confidence needed to do it “his way” – unhampered. And thus, I hope, will sign out a content old man.

    I am very happy for you that you have largely lived a happy life, that you have reconciled the not so good in favour of that which was and is good. I think it’s down to attitude which in itself is down to personality; a not to be underestimated character trait. Some have it, others don’t. I do. Yet, objectively, there have been a few bumps along the road that some take an uncharitable view of. And I do take their point. But then, it’s my life, and if I ok it then, surely, that’s what counts. Which reminds me of the Peggy Lee song “Is that all there is? Then let’s keep dancing …” I am always in two minds whether I like it or not.

    Ursula recently posted..On this note

  3. shackman says:

    You are perhaps the most contented individual I have ever known. That is the result of a life well lived.

  4. tammy j says:

    wandering star sung by lee marvin is one of my very favorites.
    not the least of which is the misty grey mountainous background of the pacific northwest.
    but his voice and those words bring my childhood and young teen years home to me.
    they were my father. truly. they were of the same spirit and the moving on was at the truth of it.
    I seriously once asked my mother.. “what if I marry a man who never wants to leave?”
    and that is just what I did!
    I too have few regrets. there is no point in regrets. they rob the present of its joy.
    I am so content that I sometimes wonder if it’s apathy or contentment. but I think it’s contentment.
    tammy j recently posted..moving on old bean

  5. one of things that bugs me often now professionals (particularly in the health world) want to know your “goals” – not just the one, “hope to be alive in the morning” but serious like in what one will doing this time next year, 5 years, decade and so on…

    even now, I’ve had to write “briefs” for my proposed art works!

    so I did something for one of the majors – all about rivers…(fine) but as soon as I went to sample a photograph of my created textile river – it turned into an archipelago!

  6. NO REGRETS is the Rajgopaul mantra…
    and like a juggernaut we plough through life scattering the seeds of the fruits that we eat. The huge inheritance from our parents!!

  7. Yes, no regrets here either. But a lot of gratitude.
    Cheerful Monk recently posted..Self Help

  8. John says:

    New visitor..
    A thoughtful list and all achievable me thinks
    Most of us just need to give them all a bit of practice!

  9. Wisewebwoman says:

    I think early tragedy – as in the loss of your wife – softens our edges if we don’t let bitterness soak in.

    A lovely post Ramana.

    Wisewebwoman recently posted..Perception

  10. Maria says:

    I love this post Ramana. My late mother had no regrets either, which is wonderful. Ramana, I was extremely late with my LBC post of last week and it only went up a few days ago. I couldn’t find your comment anywhere, unfortunately. Maybe you could take the name/url option? I’m complaining to Blogger about it. Ramana I have posted this week’s LBC post on my book blog as it was a post most appropriate for a book blog. Here is the link. Please come over and try to comment.
    Maria recently posted..Five Ways Social Media Has Changed Our Lives

  11. You have found your peace, and live each day as it comes—a beautiful mantra. Some spend their entire lives looking for such a state of mind. It’s always such a pleasure reading about your approach to life!

  12. I really don’t believe in regrets – I try to just learn from my own foolishness and tough times and count them as part of the interesting life I’ve had. This poem called “Antilamentation” by Dorianne Laux speaks to that:

    Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
    to the end just to find out who killed the cook, not
    the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
    in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication, not
    the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
    the one you beat to the punch line, the door or the one
    who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
    that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.
    Not the nights you called god names and cursed
    your mother, sunk like a dog in the living room couch,
    chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
    You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
    over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
    across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
    coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
    You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
    you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
    of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
    when the lights from the carnival rides
    were the only stars you believed in, loving them
    for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
    You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
    ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
    after the TV set has been pitched out the window.
    Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied of expectation.
    Relax. Don’t bother remembering any of it. Let’s stop here,
    under the lit sign on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.
    Secret Agent Woman recently posted..Sunday, February 19th: Fin del Mundo.

  13. Joared says:

    I have little time or energy to expend on regrets — what is, is — that’s why I am who I am. Undesired experiences beyond my control offered lessons that were learned to my future benefit — much better to move beyond rather than staying permanently in a sad or angry state. I enjoy a lot of instrumental music but for tunes with lyrics I, too, would choose “That’s All”, Peggy Lee’s “Is That All There Is?”, and for a relationship, “That’s All”.
    Joared recently posted..AROUND THE WORLD BLOGGING

  14. nick says:

    I have to say I have none of those regrets. On the whole I’ve had a happy and rewarding life and there’s little I would have changed. But I’ve been lucky to live in a stable, prosperous, democratic country with many opportunities and possibilities.

  15. When There is a will, There is a way..! Thought is everything. Everything is made up of thoughts. Thank you sharing Mr.Ramana

  16. Mother says:

    Interesting…I read this weeks ago and (obviously) didn’t comment. Probably felt that what would say would be repetitive. I either have a poor memory or am great at rationalization or live pretty much in the moment – feeling bad at the time and not holding on to the bad but moving forward with the good. Mostly, I live in gratitude and don’t dwell in the past on regrets or even nostalgic memories. I am a forward thinker and try to keep myself in the present without over-running the mark into the years behind me. “Sooner or later one must give up all hope of a better yesterday.”
    Mother recently posted..Reading and Having and Holding

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