Loners.


Despite sharing a home with my daughter in love and son along with two dogs, I believe that I am a loner as I would prefer to be left alone to do things that I enjoy doing rather than be in a crowd lost. While I do enjoy company I don’t feel uncomfortable without it and do not go around actively seeking it.

This definition of a loner is rather different from the classical ones but, I simply cannot think of any word to describe people like us who are comfortable with solitude.

I know that there are a lot of others among my readers who too are like that and hence thought that this video should be shared among them.

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14 Responses to Loners.

  1. Ursula says:

    Such a pity that, at the end, the breathless narrator only give the listener the option of voting “I did like …”. Well, I didn’t.

    Where to start? Let’s leave the hectoring delivery aside. And just to pick up on a few points as not to outstay my welcome: He asks that you shouldn’t “allow” anyone to “waste your time”. Excuse me. I love people “wasting” my time. What’s “time” anyway? Most the time I waste my own. It’s ok. I am not an accountant/bookkeeper. Be my guest. So, don’t be precious about “your” time.

    “Set boundaries” – WHAT? It’s not all about YOU (by which I don’t mean you, Ramana). Why not come from the other side and say: Respect other people’s boundaries? You know what annoys me so much about this (sorry, Americans)? It’s this me, me, me, me, me and then some more me “optimizing” (oh my god – if ever there was a phrase) our life which annoys me more than it should. Why not “optimize” other people’s lives? Maybe, in my case, by just staying out of theirs. She says, with a not to be denied certain amount of bitterness.

    And so on and so forth when I listen further … Maybe I misunderstand.

    Other than that, yes, I agree, and – as in terms of psychology – having been an only [child] for a long time, and whilst cherished, loved and given much attention by the adults around me of whom there were many, time on my own is my normal. On the other hand, when there is company or a demand on me/my time it’s great too.

    I think these days there is too much navel gazing (and as per that clip) too much looking for being validated. Just be – I say; unless you are a socio/psychopath in which case I recommend all of what that voice recommends. Even if it doesn’t make you (the psychopath) “feel good”.

    U

  2. tammy j says:

    I suppose we need labels to make sense of everything in life. but the label of Loner these days (at least in America) has a built in connotation of someone who might just go on a killing tangent. i.e. news articles say “he was a loner.”
    as if that explained everything!
    nobody thinks of monks or nuns as possible serial killers! and they were perhaps the first to profess a desire and a need for true solitude.
    I don’t think it means we like or love people less or ourselves more.
    to me it is simply a matter of energy. lots of talk and noise and constant activity makes me feel exhausted eventually. and it’s not an age thing. I’ve been that way my entire life. in a world growing progressively more frantic and noisy and chaotic… the pursuit of lovely quiet solitude seems a grace to me. I don’t even try to analyze it anymore. I simply accept it and appreciate it. as I think do you Sean.

    • Yes, it is sad that the word ‘loner’ has acquired negative connotations and is often cause of much misunderstanding. You are right in your analysis about monks and nuns and others like them which proves that loners can be very well adjusted individuals too. And your observation about energy resonates too. And yes, I do too.

  3. nick says:

    I think I’m a mixture of loner and socialiser. It depends what mood I’m in. Sometimes I just want to be by myself, enjoying my own company, and at other times I want the stimulation of doing things with other people. But as Tammy says, the word loner now has unfortunate implications of mental abnormality and being alone is seen as something negative.

  4. I didn’t watch the clip, too difficult right now…

    But what surmise is that people confuse Loner and Alone. Hugs assumptions are also made…

  5. shackman says:

    ome people run, some people crawl
    Some people don’t even move at all
    Some roads lead forward, some roads lead back
    Some roads are bathed in light, some wrapped in fearful black
    Time, oh time, where did you go?
    Time, oh good, good time, where did you go?
    Some people never get, some never give
    Some people never die, and some never live
    Some folks treat me mean, some treat me kind
    Most folks just go their way, don’t pay me any mind
    Time, oh time, where did you go?
    Time, oh good, good time, where did you go?
    Sometimes I’m satisfied, sometimes I’m not
    Sometimes my face is cold, sometimes it’s hot
    Sunset, I laugh
    Sunrise, I cry
    At midnight, I’m in between and wondering why
    Time, oh time, where did you go?
    Time, oh good, good time, where did you go?
    Source: LyricFind
    Songwriters: Michael Merchant

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7ZgqcB-0c0
    shackman recently posted..Ready to Go!!

  6. Many people confuse Loners with Alone
    …one could say that I’m traveling alone at the moment which is true but indirectly I’m not alone….I meet people.

    However, I’m a definite Loner…and love it, no one to set expectations for me…
    Catherine de Seton recently posted..Rotorua, snippets

  7. Big John says:

    You ‘hit the nail on the head’ mate, with the word “solitude” and, when you spend your working life ‘on the road’, as we both did, and are almost constantly in the company of others, ‘your own company’ is always welcome. When I was a young airman in the RAF I shared billets with 2 dozen or more of my fellow conscripts, and then, one day I found myself in charge of one of those billets, with a room of my own and a lockable door … Bliss !
    Big John recently posted..But is it all legal ?

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