Melancholy.

The same friend who had accused me of melancholia, after reading my post on Life, rang me up this morning to reinforce his argument that I am prone to melancholia.

This time around, I took some time to reflect on his arguments and also went back to identify some times as upsetting as the present one to wonder if I am indeed prone to melancholia.

The two earlier occasions were the death of my mother in 1999 and the death of my wife in 2009. Both oddly enough in March though the dates were different.

I must confess that I felt more or less like I felt when my brother died and went through a period of why-me-itis. I would not however call them melancholy but, more a sense of unfair and untimely loss. I eventually got over both, as I am sure to do with the latest. So, my expressing my anguish in writing is not being melancholic but a cathartic exercise to face up to reality.

While one friend still wants to win brownie points with my post  Life, another, aware of my COPD arising out of six decades of smoking decided that the best cure for my whatever mood was some humour and sent me this very appropriate and mood lifting video on smokers. I leave it with you to decide who scored brownie points.  I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.

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12 Responses to Melancholy.

  1. Ursula says:

    Maybe identifying which one of the “four temperaments” apply to him will keep your friend out of your hair and occupied for a little while.

    You say “accused” of melancholy. There is nothing wrong with being melancholic. It happens. To all of us. Or so I hope.

    Anyway, it’s far too simplistic since we are all a mixture of said four temperaments to varying degrees.

    The bit I don’t understand: You relate your brother’s death and refer to Rachel’s ponderings; and that makes you “melancholic”? I hope so.

    In your earlier post you say he probably couldn’t come up with a more fitting word. Which is very noble of you. Still doesn’t explain why he needs to mention it as if it were a character defect. On the other hand, giving him the benefit of the doubt, he might have just made an observation of the moment.

    This minute pensive, yours,

    U

    • He simply loves to tease me by getting my goat up. When he found that I disliked the word melancholy, he decided to rib me again. Friends do such things to each other!

  2. Item #10 in the Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People is

    They know how to mourn the inevitable losses in life. They know how to let go of things they have no control over.

    Mourning is not melancholia. You handle things very well and are resilient.

    I love the video!
    Cheerful Monk recently posted..Goodbye, Facebook

  3. shackman says:

    In all of the years I have known you you have not in my opinion displayed a predilection for melancholia that I have witnessed. I agree with CM – mourning is not melancholia – you understand that you are sad, deal with the sadness and get on with your life.

  4. melancholy or depression isn’t worked with flip of switch. We all have our times in our life.
    Coffee is on

  5. Joared says:

    Recalling memories may or may not elicit instances of melancholy and that’s fine.

  6. Wisewebwoman says:

    Gee Ramana, I’d better not comment from my device anymore as it wipes comments obv. Don’t know what made me come back today to check. Now I know.

    I commented that this is no friend to you as you are grieving and not melancholic. Grief will take its own time and its own direction and as my grief counsellor told me when I went through devastating grief: when we lose someone (in your case your brother) this opens up every other grief and loss in our lives. I can attest to that.

    No you are never melancholic, in fact the opposite, curious, interested and full of wonder.

    Take care my friend and choose your friend wisely.

    XO
    WWW

    • I have no alternative but to take care of myself WWW. Thank you. This friend is just a tease and I used his teasing to let off some steam. I am fine for having done that.

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