Wellbeing.

This is an actual exchange of messages in WhatsApp between a dear friend who has got a full head of hair but, who thinks that I enjoy life despite being blessed with just a friar’s fringe. Please click on the image for a larger resolution.

That exchange got me to suggest this topic for this week’s 2 on 1 Friday blog post when Shackman and I write posts on the same topic. Please do go over to his blog to see what he has to say about the topic.

“Well-being amounts to more than mere happiness, and involves a wide range of personal and social domains, new research suggests. Psychologists say that positive relationships and a sense of meaning and purpose in life are crucial to genuine well-being.”

~ British Psychological Society (BPS)

Whenever someone asks me if I am happy in my present status of a retired person, I inevitably request him to ask about my wellbeing rather than whether I am happy as happiness is only a small part of wellbeing. I inevitably add that I am flourishing or, that I am on top of the world or some such phrase. I came to the conclusion that I was more than just happy in my situation after I read Martin Seligman’s “Flourish”, which incidentally was gifted to me by a very dear friend who was closely monitoring my mental health when I was going through a particularly stressful period some years ago. Reading the book essentially pointed out to me that my stress was of a passing nature which was being handled well by me. Other than that particular aspect of my life then, my life otherwise was what could be easily called enviable by others.

Seligman’s PERMA is simply this.

Here then is well-being theory: well-being is a construct; and well-being, not happiness, is the topic of positive psychology. Well-being has five measurable elements (PERMA) that count toward it:

Positive emotion (Of which happiness and life satisfaction are all aspects) – what we feel: pleasure, rapture, ecstasy, warmth, comfort, and the like. An entire life led successfully around this element, I call the “pleasant life.”

Engagement – is about flow: being one with the music, time stopping, and the loss of self-consciousness during an absorbing activity. I refer to a life lived with these aims as the “engaged life.”

Relationships – is about how well we are connected with our family, friends and society.

Meaning and purpose – Meaningful Life consists in belonging to and serving something that you believe is bigger than the self, and humanity creates all the positive institutions to allow this: religion, political party, being Green, the Boy Scouts, or the family.

Accomplishment – is the way of reflecting on the attempts of doing something, and the degree in which it provides a positive sense of accomplishment or achievement.

No one element defines well-being, but each contributes to it.

I believe that I am a walking proof for someone who is flourishing as, in all the five elements, I will score high.

Posted in Blogging, Books / Reading, Humor, Relationships, Science, Sociology, WhatsApp | Tagged , | 13 Comments

Hair Talk.

After reading Nick’s post “Hair Talk”, I just could not resist the temptation to share this clip with my readers.

Posted in Blogging, Humor | 2 Comments

Humour!

My late mother said this to my late wife and strangely enough, my late mother in law said the same thing to me about her daughter.

Posted in Humor | 9 Comments

Prof. Dr. V. L. Mote. Om Shanti.

Seven years ago, I had written about a remarkable teacher who had touched my life in my early twenties. Subsequently, Dr. Mote became friends with many alumni like me on facebook and kept us connected to him till he passed away earlier this week after a brief hospitalisation.

Since then, the WhatsApp application and my email In Box has been filled with so many messages from alumni and fellow faculty expressing their sorrow and nostalgia for his personality. Most talk about how he had touched their lives in some way or the other just like I had shared in my blog post about him touching my life at a critical point in my life.

Just to give a flavour about his impact here is a link to an article from another alumnus who is a very well know Management Professional.

He was truly a legend and will be missed by a lot of people.

Posted in Blogging, Facebook, Gratitude, Management, Writing | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Reunions.

Shackman’s suggestion for this week’s Friday 2 on 1 Blog Post came as a total surprise to me and coincidentally, as I write this on the day prior to the Friday post, I have just returned from a reunion.

I have been attending three types of reunions the last two decades. The first are family ones where the family and some close friends get together during weddings, special anniversaries, upanayanams, special birthdays etc but, since the last three years I have stopped going out of Pune as I find it difficult to tackle airports, railway stations etc. So, an understanding family has decided to accept my absence with grace and forgive me my inability to attend.

Another reunion that I attend is of my classmates from Business school and here too, I attend only those that are held in Pune or, at best near Pune. The last one that I wrote about is this one. Subsequently, there have been a few more and one with many out of town and country visitors who exited to Mahabaleshwar via Pune in January. Some of the classmates who live in Pune now get together often particularly when one who normally lives in the USA visits Pune in the winter. Sometimes, some visitors from Mumbai on business to Pune give us an opportunity to get together and those too are very much looked forward to.

The third reunion that I attend regularly is that of my ex colleagues from Mumbai which is held twice a year. I wrote about one of them here. These reunions are held mostly in Mumbai or around these parts as, travel is easy for all of us. This is the type of reunion that I attended today at Lonavala. Some of my colleagues had come up yesterday and spent the night at the resort where the reunion took place but some of us just made the day trip for obvious reasons. Two of us from Pune drove up in the morning and returned after lunch.

For me such outings are emotionally very charged and I enjoy every moment that I am with old classmates or colleagues. I am however sad that I am unable to attend more due to my health issues. My regrets however are somewhat assuaged as I am in regular touch with all of them through daily WhatsApp group messages exchanged. A great way to keep in touch and share news and other information of interest to all in the group.

To see what Shackman has to say on the subject, please do visit his blog. Thank you.

T

Posted in Blogging, Family, Friendship, Nostalgia, Relationships, WhatsApp | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Mobile Phone.

This has been a loyal companion for the past eight years but, age has caught up with it and was beginning to give trouble to me. I was still managing it but, every now and then needed help from the resident geeks.

The geeks decided to do something about it and so procured a brand new replacement, a NOKIA smart phone. They hope that it will make me smarter than I am.

The same phone with the wall paper lit when switched on. The wall paper is obviously of the geeks.
After they loaded all the applications and placing the SIM card, I was duly presented with the set and you can see how stumped I was with the totally new handset.
It has been over 24 hours since I got the hand set and I am still getting used to it. I feel like reverting to the old faithful!  A difficult task as the geeks have confiscated it and hidden it away somewhere.

Posted in Family, Gratitude, Humor, Relationships | Tagged , | 16 Comments

Borrowed Time.

After I wrote my last post on Contentment, many memories of my past life popped up during my morning reveries and this one grabbed my attention for quite some time. When you read the lyrics, you will see why. This is a song written by John Lennon of The Beatles in the eighties.

When I was younger
Living confusion and deep despair
When I was younger
Living illusion of freedom and power
When I was younger
Full of ideas and broken dreams (my friend)
When I was younger ah hah
Everything simple but not so clear
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Now I am older
The more that I see the less that I know for sure
Now I am older
The future is brighter and now is the hour
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a…

Source: LyricFind

Posted in Blogging, Music, Nostalgia, Philosophy | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Contentment.

I believe that I am a contented person. I have few wants and they have been provided in adequate measure for me and I am ever grateful for that. That I am at my twilight years helps where nature makes it easier to be content with one’s lot.

I was not always like that and like most humanity I went through various stages of life when “more” was the driving mantra till nature decided that I had had enough and put the brakes on. I only wish that it had in a different way but, that is for another blog post.

If someone were to ask me to describe my lifestyle, I would take two styles. The easier to understand one is the Western metaphor of “going through life like a homeless alley cat, living from day to day, taking it’s pleasures where it can and dying unnoticed.”  Except that, I do have a home and the pleasures I want are very simple and door delivered, like my daily dose of newspapers and crossword puzzles plus enough books to read. I also have serious doubts that I will die unnoticed, not that it would matter when I do.

The other style would be my following the eight fold path of yoga that we in India call Ashtanga Yoga.

In the second limb of Niyama, the second “do” is “Santosha – contentment, acceptance of others, acceptance of one’s circumstances as they are in order to get past or change them, optimism for self.”

At least one reader is very likely to comment that I am aiming for sainthood and I would simply smile and respond with “no, just following a proven system that guarantees that one can live a life of joy. I am sure that the same person would grant me that I am by and large joyful! I am no saint and I do slip but it does not take a great deal of effort to revert to my idea of normal which is being peaceful and joyful.

Believe me, it is easy to live a life of contentment.  Any one can.

I have suggested this topic for this week’s Friday 2 on 1 blog posts where Shackman and I write on the same topic.  Please do go over to Shackman’s blog to read what his take on the topic is.  Thank you.

Posted in Blogging, Books / Reading, Gratitude, India, Philosophy, Wikipedia | Tagged , | 13 Comments

Nothing Really Happened.

A dear friend sent this little poem in Hindi to me with his best wishes.

Let me try and make justice by translating it to have the same effect in English.

Nothing really happened
Broke the heart a little
Alienated a few people
Shattered a few dreams
Nothing really happened
Just lost some sleep
Just some joy was taken away
Nothing really happened
Just lost myself
Nothing really happened
Just a dear one made me weep.

Posted in Poetry | 5 Comments

Is It More Important To Be Respected Or Liked?

This is the question that my co-blogger Shackman asks for this week’s 2 on 1 Friday blog post. Please do go over to his blog . T to see what he has to say on the topic. Thank you.

My answer is very simple.

Neither.

I would prefer to be accepted as I am, as I accept almost all those who cross my path.

Posted in Blogging | 10 Comments