I hope that you enjoy reading this post on the weekly Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where six of us write on the same topic. Today’s topic was chosen by yours truly. The five other bloggers who write regularly are, in alphabetical order, gaelikaa, Maxi, Paul, Shackman, and The Old Fossil. Do drop in on their blogs and see what their take is on this week’s topic. Since some of them may post late, do give some allowance for that too!

The first time that I really felt the pangs of separation was way back in 1969. My marriage was all of five months old when I was deputed to coordinate a seven month long all India market research survey by traveling all over the country with just three possible meetings with my brand new bride. I had to send her off to her mother’s place and get on with the design and personal conducting of the survey and as was expected, was able to meet my wife on only three occasions during the survey. There were times when I came very near quitting the job but was prevented from doing so by a more intelligent and patient wife.

separation2The next heart wrenching separation was when we sent Ranjan away to boarding school in 1984.  In retrospect, it did him and the two of us a world of good but while he was away it was totally different.

The third experience, much less difficult to bear but a bit boring was when I moved to the South of India on an assignment in 1998, leaving Urmeela behind to manage the household as Ranjan was at a critical stage of his career in Pune.  I had to wind up that assignment due to completely unavoidable circumstances and return to Pune at the end of a year.  I had to return to the same place in 2001 for another stint of six months to establish phase II of the assignment.  During both occasions, Urmeela did come down to stay with me, but was most uncomfortable there as she could not handle the language in that almost rural area of Tamil Nadu.

Apart from these four occasions, I have of course had short term separations for periods lasting from about a week to up to eight weeks on business related travel within India and overseas.  Those were not too difficult because I was too busy with work and work related evening occupations.

Then came the major separations between me and some of teeth.  The less said the better about those experiences!
extrtactionsFinally, a permanent separation took place between me and my wife of forty years in 2009 and I am yet to totally recover from that.


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23 Responses to Separation.

  1. Kaitlin hasn’t lived near us for over 20 years now. Thank goodness for phone calls!
    Cheerful Monk recently posted..Bad Precedent

  2. Ursula says:

    There are degrees of separation. The worst or sometimes for the better, as you say, imposed by death. Irreversible as it were.

    In tribute to your beloved synchronicity: Only last night I was reminiscing (to myself) about saying good bye. Remembering a time, in my mid Twenties, when every evening I faithfully went to a train station, stood on the platform. Waiting. it was worth the wait.

    Going back in time: My grandmother (platform again) would wave good bye with her white handkerchief. Till the train was out of her sight, and she out of mine.

    Ursula recently posted..Vacant possession

  3. Alan G says:

    “Separation” seems such a sad word. It seems to conjure up heartache and even mental anguish. I have always taken exception to the phrase, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Absence is a prerequisite for heartache and not something uplifting.

    Separating the egg yolk from the egg white in the process of cooking may, from my standpoint, be the only positive gained from the word… and that’s assuming the cook knows what they are doing! 🙂
    Alan G recently posted..The Art of Dying….

  4. nick says:

    That seven-month trip round India when you were only five months married must have been tough. A good thing she had the patience to sit it out and not let you quit!

    I think my own worst period of separation was when I was at boarding school for five years. I hated being apart from my parents and sister and I was constantly bullied. It was a huge relief when I came home again.
    nick recently posted..Callous neglect

  5. Grannymar says:

    The Irish version of the degrees of separation is that all people are separated by only 6 degrees. In Ireland, with our habit of talking to complete strangers at every opportunity, its about 2 degrees of separation.

    I will give an example:

    Recently, a gentleman approached me via the contact section on my blog. His opening gambit was the town he lived in, his age group and that he wished to begin blogging for a forthcoming project. Someone, I have yet to discover who did so, had suggested he read my blog. He also asked what tips for blogging I could pass on to him.

    His last name was familiar, the same as an ex-member of the LBC.

    A quick online check from his email information, led me right to him, so I knew he was genuine.

    I wrote back to him and told him I had friends in the same town and gave the name of the estate they lived in without further detail. I acknowledged that we were both in the same age group and passed on some tips and suggestions for blogging and wished him well for the project he was embarking on.

    Over several emails, I discovered that not alone was he in the same town as my friends, but the same estate and knew the family, but he had no connection with the ex-LBC member.
    Grannymar recently posted..The Healing Tree ~ Part 2

    • I am not surprised at all. I have recently had a similar experience with a gentleman who had subscribed to my posts by mail who send a note via my contact form and we have now discovered many mutual connections.

  6. shackman says:

    My list is pretty similar – as are I suspect many people’s That’s not to suggest you are not unique however – LOL

  7. Maxi says:

    The powerful love between you and your wife … withstood any separation.
    blessings ~ maxi
    Maxi recently posted..Maxi Malone Makes Huge Discovery

  8. I find separations difficult. My divorce, various break-ups, the two eyars I had to have a commuter marriage, my son going of to University. But life is about changes, and eventually you adjust in one way or another.
    Secret Agent Woman recently posted..The sort of food-related posts I tend to just put on FB.

  9. Delirious says:

    One of the nice things about living in China is that my husband often works from home. So we have had more time together. But of course, I’m feeling the pain of separation of my kids that live in America!
    Delirious recently posted..What You Should Know About Living in China Part 1: Cleanliness

  10. tammyj says:

    i hate the word good bye.
    to me there is nothing good about it.
    time is so short. too short for very many goodbyes!
    sometimes a life can feel full of them.
    tammyj recently posted..clearness of knowing

  11. Max Coutinho says:

    Hi Rummy,

    Such an endearing article. Separation is never easy but I think you have handled it with grace and a deep sense of humanity.

    Cheers, my friens
    Max Coutinho recently posted..Pakistan Decided To Sort Its Mess Out

  12. Cathy in NZ says:

    For me – separation – is a great way to move on with my life…

    1968 saw me leave my parents for good and move right across the world to live first in UK and then later in Australia…I never regretted that separation at all from them

    Then before the turn of the century, I was separating from a man of nearly 20 years of marriage and that was the best thing to happen as well…
    Cathy in NZ recently posted..Taking a short break from the journey

    • Absolutely! Eastern religions have a word – Anithya, impermanent, which drives home the point that everything including relationships are impermanent.

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