A lovely young lady who I consider my adopted daughter and who I hope to give away in marriage soon, has sent this bouquet to be posted as a follow up one to my post “You Choose The Title”
U, ME and …..
“Never tell a loved one of an infidelity: you would be badly rewarded for your troubles. One dislikes being deceived, but one likes even less to be undeceived….”
This picture brings to mind some anecdotes heard from time to time.
An elderly couple is sharing an intimate dinner in honor of their 75th wedding anniversary.
The man says softly, “Dear, there is something I must ask you.
It has always bothered me that our sixth child never quite looked like the rest of our children.
Now, let me assure you these 75 years have been the most wonderful I could have hoped for, and your answer will not take all that away.
But, please tell me: did he have a different father?”
His wife lowers her eyes, pauses for a moment, and then confesses, “Yes. Yes, he did.”
The old man tightens, very shaken, the reality hitting him hard.
“Who? Who was he? Who was the father?”
Again, the woman lowers her head, trying to muster the courage to finally tell her husband the truth.
She says, “You.”
See what I mean? Here’s another.
Three friends are in a car driving to the ballgame when a big truck runs them over, killing them instantly. They find themselves at the Pearly Gates being interviewed by St. Peter.
“OK, you,” he says, pointing to Vito, “How many times did you cheat on your wife? And don’t lie, I’m St. Peter you know.”
Vito hangs his head and replies, “Honestly Pete, I was with two maybe three different women a week.”
St. Peter says, “OK, your car in heaven is that used Geo Metro over there, goodbye.”
He looks at Eddie and asks, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?”
Eddie replies, “I must admit that in 15 years of marriage I did cheat on my wife 3 times.” St. Peter says, “OK, your car in heaven is that LeBaron, goodbye.”
He then looks at Jacob and asks, “And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?”
Jacob lifts his head high and replies, “I am proud to say that over 20 years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife! In fact, my beloved has been dead for 2 years now and I remained celibate the whole time!”
St. Peter replies, “Very impressive. Your car in heaven is that Ferrari convertible. Goodbye!”
A couple of hours later, Vito and Eddie are waiting for Jacob at the park where all three had planned to meet. Jacob arrives a couple of minutes late in his Ferrari, and his friends notice that he is sobbing like a baby. Vito asks, “Hey! Whats the matter with you? We should be crying! We’re stuck with these ugly buckets and you got a new Ferrari!”
Jacob, between sobs replies, “I just saw my wife on a skateboard!”
And lest I offend my very good friends of the feminine gender with all this woman bashing, let me redeem myself with this last one for us MEN!!
5 Rules For Men:
1 It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh and feel good.
3. It’s important to have a woman, whom you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women never meet.
Thank you dear S.