Month: April 2009

Do We Stop To Appreciate And Smell The Roses?

I bet that most of us would say, “who has got the time?”

I had gone out to the nearby jogger’s park earlier this evening and as I was nearing it, two stunningly charming children were coming towards me. They were accompanied by their mother who was obviously very proud her children. I stopped and had a little chat with the youngsters and with some prodding from the mother, they told me all about their school, what they were doing now, now that is the summer vacation and many other things that were obviously of importance to them.

I decided that I had taken enough of their time and was about to bid them goodbye when the mother asked me why I had stopped and chatted with the children and whether I had grandchildren of my own. I replied in the negative and added that I just felt the need to connect to such delightful children. The younger child, must have been about five, presented me with a rose and said that she too had stopped to spend some time in their garden and she had got her mother to get her a rose to carry with her. I accepted the rose, thanked her for being so generous and parted company.

Since then, I have been thinking about this simple matter and went back to couple of years ago when a Washington Post article had caught my attention. Please spare some time and read this totally believable yet interesting article.

Are you like those commuters not bothered to stop and listen, or to stop to watch and smell a rose in bloom? Where are you going?

A Blonde Does Not A Bimbo Make.

Grannymar’s joke on blondes generated quite a bit of discussions. I discovered a new blog site because of the discussions and based on Jean’s comments, I dedicate this to that spirited lass who announces loud and clear – “A blonde does not a bimbo make.”

A blonde is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of One Million Dollars.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?

A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150

Blonde says “I will skip this”

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?

A) BRAZIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) ECUADOR

Blonde asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER

Blonde asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL

Blonde asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on
which animal:

A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT

Blonde gives up.

NOW SCROLL DOWN…….
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If you think you are indeed clever and laughed at the blonde’s replies, then please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George’s first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

Now tell me who’s the dumb one….Don’t ever laugh at a blonde joke again.

My Friends Are Convinced That I am Over The Hill.

My friends, are convinced that I am now over the hill. Otherwise, I do not see any reason for receiving messages like this by email from them. I also seem to have read a blog somewhere similar to this and the blogger is hereby requested to forgive me for the repetition. This is just too important not to be posted by me.

New Alphabet
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won’t float.
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let’s be a bit more realistic instead.
Now
The Alphabet

A’s for arthritis;
B’s the bad back,
C’s the chest pains,
Perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which we’d rather not mention.
H High blood pressure–We’d rather it low;
I For incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L ‘s for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory; we forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!
P for prescriptions. We have quite a few,
Just give us a pill and we’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting our fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in our ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.
W for worry, NOW what’s going ’round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year we are left here behind,
Z is for zest WE still have — in OUR minds.

We’ve survived all the symptoms,
our body’s deployed,
and We’re keeping twenty-six
doctors fully employed.

IF YOU ARE OLD, HAVE A GREAT DAY.
IF NOT, YOUR TURN WILL COME!

What do you think? Am I over the hill?

I Love This Doctor.

I have just received this as a forward and since I enjoyed reading it so much, I think that it is only fair that I share it with my regular readers. I only wish that my doctor about who I had posted a while ago can be as wonderful as this man’s is.

I love this Doctor

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! … Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
‘If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride’

AND……

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

so we continue with our fancy life styles….and see each other around even after 60 years!!!

See It To Believe It.

Another well wisher, who insists on remaining unnamed despite much pleading by me, sent me a message. “It is not too late to do something about your laziness. You should start going to class to learn to play the guitar so that you can accompany yourself when you sing.”

The well wisher means well. I have always depended on someone else to accompany me on a guitar, whenever I sing. For those of you who may feel uneasy about my singing, I can assure you that I am not unlistenable to. I am told that I just sound like Lee Marvin singing “I was born under a wandering star.” For those of you, who do not know what that was about, it was in the film, “Paint Your Wagon”. One of my all time favourite Westerns with two of my favourite actors, Lee and Clint Eastwood.

Anyway, my well wisher hoped that I will get enthused if I could be motivated by the possibility of being interviewed by Jay Leno and sent this link to me. The skeptic that I am, thought that this would be one more prank till I saw the video. Let me not give you any ideas. Just see and make up your minds.

What do you think? Will I ever be interviewed by Jay Leno, if I now learnt how to play the guitar and sang like Lee Marvin?

Politically Correct Humour.

This post is dedicated to Jean from Cheerful Monk who thinks that I am too obsessed with Pakistan and our other neighbours, and am losing my sense of humour! No Jean, far from it, as this post will prove.

These Politically Correct Jokes have been forwarded to me by another friend who thinks the same as Jean. My sincere gratitude to him too.
1
The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the
Attack on the Pentagon:

“I’m sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case
you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of
everything.”

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

2
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my
condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great
bldgs… I would like to assure you, that we had nothing to do with
that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It’s eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops…Will call back in an hour!

============ ========= ========= ========= ====

3
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
“Isn’t that Bush and Vajpayee?”

The barman says “Yep, that’s them.” So the guy walks

over and says, “Hello, what are you guys doing?”

Bush says, “We’re planning world war 3”

The guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

And Vajpayee says, “Well, we’re going to kill 14

million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman.”

And the guy exclaimed, “A bicycle repairman?!! !”

Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, “See, I told you no-one would worry about
the 14 million Pakistanis!”

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4

Pakistani on the moon:

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?

A: Problem…

Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem…

Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem…

Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?

A: …… Problem Solved!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

5
A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a
little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the
dog and saving the girl’s life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: “You are a
hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:

“Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl”.

The man says: “But I am not a New Yorker!”

Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:

“Brave American saves life of little girl” the policeman answers.

“But I am not an American!” – says the man. Oh, what are you then?”

The man says: “I am a Pakistani!”

The next day the newspapers say: “Extremist kills innocent American dog ”