Two New Jokes To Lighten Up This Blog Again.

My last post on Tavleen Singh’s article, showed me that my readers are more practical about these matters than perhaps I am. I shall therefore restrict this blog to posts that should either bring about nostalgia, like my last one about Britannia or tickle the funny bones of my readers. Everynow and then, I shall of course post some human interest articles too.

Here are two new jokes that came my way just this morning. I know that there are some veterans out there reading this blog, like Mike and they should find one of them really hilarious and the other should appeal to all my readers as being universal.

RETIREMENT BONUS

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, ‘From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.’

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to ‘drop ’em,’ which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!’ he suddenly exclaimed, ‘Where Are your testicles?’

The old Chief calmly replied, ‘ Vietnam’.
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Fool proof Best Friend Test.
If you don’t believe it, just try this.

Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who’s happy to see you?

Somethings, Thank God, Never Change.

My young friend Sandeep, who is a regular reader, encourager (David, is that correct English?) and commentator of my posts has sent me a link to an article in the Time Magazine.

No Mumbaikar, that is what blue blooded Bombay wallahs like to be called, worth his name, would deny that the restaurant reviewed in the article deserves Heritage status.

I was introduced to the Britannia Restaurant, by my uncle PK, my father’s younger brother, who for many of us in the family, epitomized everything good about Mumbai and uncles. This was way back in 1967. After that, I must have made that special effort to visit this wonderful restaurant many times and reading about it now, has made me very nostalgic.

The Parsi community briefly covered in the article, is another institution of Mumbai and India for that matter, about which enough can never be said. They are God’s gift to India for being such wonderful people with their cuisine, hospitality, amiability, sense of humour, culture and warmth. Many of the readers of this blog will recognize the name of Zubin Mehta, who is a Parsi, and now of course Ratan Tata another Parsi icon who has launched the world’s cheapest car ever.

It is so nice to know that the younger generations of Mumbaikars are in agreement with us oldies about the Britannia Restaurant.

Thank you Sandeep.

Tavleen Singh On President Obama And The Taliban.

For sometime now, I have not been posting about my pet peeve – Pakistan. One after the other, whatever many of us Indians have been predicting has been happening in Pakistan and the world is now seeing Pakistan as it should have done the last many decades.

Since the matter of the Pakistani state abjectly surrendering to the Taliban is now common knowledge and Secretary of State Ms. Clinton has cautioned the world about the very real danger Pakistan poses to South Asia and the rest of the world in general and the USA in particular, this post has become necessary.

Tavleen Singh is a respected columnist in India and writes for one of India’s foremost newspapers. What she said, appeared in mid March 2009 but I have deliberately kept off the subject for obvious reasons.

This article reflects the thinking of many Indians and since many of my readers are from countries that are affected one way or the other with the developments in Pakistan, it should be read and perhaps shared with others concerned about the prospect of Pakistan’s nuclear arms falling into the hands of the Taliban and thus into the hands of Al quida.

As a concerned Indian, and global citizen, I believe that such views must receive the attention they deserve from a global audience. I now leave it to my readers to come to their own conclusions.

To add a different point of view, I also refer my readers to this article which is, to say the least, poignant.

A Blonde Does Not Make A Bimbo Make -II

My conscience keeper Sandeep has posed a fantastic question. I reproduce his question and my response to it here and leave it to some of my readers to answer.

Sandeep’s comment:
“Now that we have disproved the hypothesis that blondes are dumb, what about the other hypothesis regarding blondes – that they have more fun? Any ideas on this?”

My response:
“I wouldn’t know Sandeep. You are where you can find out. Why don’t you? Perhaps some of my readers may oblige!”