Nick at nickhereandnow had recently written a post “Love Derailed” and I was musing about what to comment when, this news item in the BBC came to my rescue.
It has been my personal observation too that we are seeing too many divorces now a days in India, primarily in the urban milieu. I am not an expert or a psychologist to comment on the reasons for it, but having been happily married for forty years till death did us apart, I am intrigued.
The BBC article throws some light on it and this quote from Dr. Geetanjali Sharma “I also feel they lack patience and tolerance. They don’t want to put more efforts into a relationship to fix the issues, and they feel that escapism is the solution.” in it, resonates with me, with the proviso that it not be both who want the divorce and could also be just one of the two wanting it.
Relationships are easy to destroy but difficult to build. I for one thrive on long lasting relationships of all kinds and this post addresses a different aspect of the subject.
This is Leena. She is my ex daughter in law. When she came into our home in 2001, she brought a different atmosphere into it and quickly became the daughter that we did not have. My late wife adored her as did I and as I do now. Ranjan and she were married for five years and decided to part company amicably, for whatever reasons, best known to them. Naturally, neither of us liked the development, but decided to accept it as perhaps being the best under the circumstances.
Leena, despite the divorce, continued to be the daughter to my wife till the latter passed away two years ago, and continues to be a daughter to me till today. When Urmeela passed away, Leena came over and took charge of our home till all formalities were complete.
My son Ranjan and she continue to be good friends despite being divorced from each other and often communicate with each other via all modern methods as well as personally. There does not appear to be any acrimony and both seem to have got on with their lives happily.
Leena came to visit my father and me yesterday on learning about our indisposition. She spent quite some time with both of us and it was uplifting of our spirits like a breath of fresh air. She is naturally ebullient and cheerful and it is infectious. Today, she sent some specially cooked fish dishes for my father which cheered him up further.
I wonder if this is also the trend that post divorce relationships do not break but move to different levels with the individuals and the families concerned. I certainly hope that it is.
Nick, an interesting take?