Visitor.

This is Padmini, my sister from Chennai who had come for a visit. She landed up on Thursday and left earlier this evening. My father was delighted with her visit as was I and Ranjan. We will miss her.

Just as she was leaving for the airport, she slung a bag across her shoulder and seeing my quizzical look, said that it is a “bus conductor’s bag”. She said that after much searching, my niece bought it for her. She finds it easier to lug around than the conventional bags carried by ladies. I found it to be a sensible solution. Before I could think of taking a photograph of hers, she dashed off but here is a picture of the bag that I found o the net.

Listening.

Welcome to the Loose Bloggers’ Consortium, where every Friday, some of us post on the same topic. Today’s topic has been chosen by Grannymar.

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.”
– Jiddu Krishnamurti.

“We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less”
-Diogenes

All gurus advise that effective communication can only take place when there is effective listening. One question that I always raised when this was pointed out is – “how can effective communication take place between two people, if both insisted on listening and neither would say anything?” I have received some good answers but shall leave my readers to figure out how to answer this question.

I am considered to be a good listener. At the same time, I am also considered to be a good conversationalist. I suspect that is because I ask questions more than answer questions. I suppose that answers my own question.

Now a days, I am compelled to listen to many conversations in the most unlikely situations, thanks to the advent of the mobile phone. I hear people conveying amazing things while walking in our joggers’ park, totally oblivious to the others in the vicinity. I observed this same phenomenon at the hospital last week, when I had to wait for various things that a visit to a hospital entails. I over heard nurses, ward boys, and even doctors on the gadget, similarly engrossed and totally oblivious to the public round them. One cannot avoid this phenomenon anywhere. Since I do not like to listen to such conversations, I avoid using my mobile phone except in emergencies and if I do get calls when in public, I tell the callers that I shall them later and disconnect. May be I am just nuts!

Having had my rant about mobile phones, what will the world do without it? In India, it is already doing some amazing things, and it is predicted that some new business models are likely to be built around them. Just have a read at this.

Stop, Start And Continue.

Marianna of Change Of Heart Stress Solutions has a down to earth, common sense advise on end of the year/start of the new year review/plan process.

Like all brilliant ideas, this too is simple and easy to implement.

I strongly recommend her post to all my readers.

I personally have carried out the exercise and found it to be a very useful one. No, I am not about to share all the things I need to stop, start and continue, but you will start to see reports as I keep accomplishing the items on the lists. I shall blog about them.

Divorces On The Rise In India.

Nick at nickhereandnow had recently written a post “Love Derailed” and I was musing about what to comment when, this news item in the BBC came to my rescue.

It has been my personal observation too that we are seeing too many divorces now a days in India, primarily in the urban milieu. I am not an expert or a psychologist to comment on the reasons for it, but having been happily married for forty years till death did us apart, I am intrigued.

The BBC article throws some light on it and this quote from Dr. Geetanjali Sharma “I also feel they lack patience and tolerance. They don’t want to put more efforts into a relationship to fix the issues, and they feel that escapism is the solution.” in it, resonates with me, with the proviso that it not be both who want the divorce and could also be just one of the two wanting it.

Relationships are easy to destroy but difficult to build. I for one thrive on long lasting relationships of all kinds and this post addresses a different aspect of the subject.

This is Leena. She is my ex daughter in law. When she came into our home in 2001, she brought a different atmosphere into it and quickly became the daughter that we did not have. My late wife adored her as did I and as I do now. Ranjan and she were married for five years and decided to part company amicably, for whatever reasons, best known to them. Naturally, neither of us liked the development, but decided to accept it as perhaps being the best under the circumstances.

Leena, despite the divorce, continued to be the daughter to my wife till the latter passed away two years ago, and continues to be a daughter to me till today. When Urmeela passed away, Leena came over and took charge of our home till all formalities were complete.

My son Ranjan and she continue to be good friends despite being divorced from each other and often communicate with each other via all modern methods as well as personally. There does not appear to be any acrimony and both seem to have got on with their lives happily.

Leena came to visit my father and me yesterday on learning about our indisposition. She spent quite some time with both of us and it was uplifting of our spirits like a breath of fresh air. She is naturally ebullient and cheerful and it is infectious. Today, she sent some specially cooked fish dishes for my father which cheered him up further.

I wonder if this is also the trend that post divorce relationships do not break but move to different levels with the individuals and the families concerned. I certainly hope that it is.

Nick, an interesting take?

Update.

The hospital authorities and the orthopedic surgeon, ruled out surgery for my father’s fracture and discharged him from the hospital on Saturday.

I have now created a hospital room in his bed room with round the clock male nursing care as he has been advised total bed rest.

It is hoped that with the rest, the fracture will mend. Only time will tell.

On the personal front, I am totally without any pain from the prolapsed disc, but the ulnar palsy still troubles me, though not to the same extent as a fortnight ago. I seem to be on the mend there too. I am to go for an EMG on the 10th when further course of action will be determined.

I am now in a better frame of mind and can concentrate on my other pursuits like blogging, my evening and now, morning walks in my favourite park near home, reading etc.

Some good news in the form of the imminent arrival of my sister Padmini for a two day visit, some good new business etc, gives me hope that other good things will follow.

This is to thank all my friends who sent their best wishes and prayers during the tense period last week. I am touched and am grateful Thank you all once again.