Month: September 2011

Weekly Recap – 12

Saturday was very quiet. I had to cook a dish as our help got delayed due to a traffic jam and it turned out quite well.

Sunday saw a classmate of Ranjan’s from his college days, visiting us. It was a great reunion as the lad used to spend a lot of time at our home as he was in the hostel of the college and enjoyed the home atmosphere with us. He is now married and a father of two and full of nostalgia for the old days. Ranjan found some time to have a long discussion with me about some of his current problems and it was nice being able to advise him.

Monday was quiet too. I caught up on a lot of reading. The highlight however was the long telephone call from my friend from Delhi who says that he is figuring out a way to come down to Pune to cheer me up at the hospital.

Tuesday started off with a bang. My father had had a bad night and was in a state of panic till I arranged for a doctor to visit us at home. A thorough check up later, it was diagnosed as a possible nightmare and things normalised after that. Late in the evening, a childhood friend, having come to know about the forthcoming surgery called up to wish me the best and talked for a long time about planning for a meeting of all childhood friends in Chennai after my recovery.

Wednesday saw another childhood friend from Hyderabad locating me via Facebook and chatting for a long time. It was nice catching up with him after half a century! I indulged in a pedicure, hair cut and massage as preparatory grooming for the forthcoming stage of inactivity. This is what I look like now:

Thursday saw my nephew come in with a carpenter to increase the height of the diwan to enable me to rest on it after I return from hospital. This was the last but one item on the list of things to do before the surgery and that means now that I am fully ready for the surgery. The surgeon’s office also rang up to check up if everything is moving according to plan and I confirmed that everything is. Ranjan finally got my ipod all stored up with music that I like and that was the last item on the list. I inaugurated the ipod and am fascinated with it.

Friday saw me laughing at myself early in the morning when I came out of the bathroom and went straight to the dressing table to take the hair brush to brush my non existent hair! The day went rushing by with many phone calls and visitors to wish me a successful surgery. I am truly overwhelmed with the number of well wishers in my life.

With this post, I will take a break from posting my weekly recaps till I am back home and able to sit at the computer again. See all of you after I return to blogging. Thank you for encouraging me with this post.

Marriage.

Welcome to the Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where Akanksha, Anu, Ashok, Conrad, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Magpie11, Nema, Noor,Ordinary Joe, Paul,Maria the Silver Fox, Padmum , Rohit, Will knott, and I write on the same topic. Please do visit the linked blogs to get seventeen different flavours of the same topic. Today’s topic has been chosen by Conrad.

Marriages start from weddings and mine did with an earth shaking event. One of those occasions that one never forgets. I wrote about it some time ago and to add some lightness to this topic, my readers may want to read it here.

Various social factors are in action now and both women and men seem to have very different ideas and approaches about marriage as an institution. Here is one interesting bit of information with which many modern Indian women will relate. And another with which many Indian men will. I intend approaching this post from my personal experience without commenting on recent trends.

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor.

I loved my late wife very much and she did indeed finish me.

Not quite in the sense that Zsa Zsa meant but in taking a rough cut stone and finishing it to become a gem. It was not for nothing that we were known as the Beauty and the Beast.

We celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary before she left me to live the rest of my life alone without her. During the last few years of her life, my earnest prayer was that I should outlive her so that I could provide her the care that she so richly deserved. I do not have the slightest doubt that had the roles been reversed, she would have done exactly the same thing.

We saw a lot of joy together, and we saw a lot of sorrow and hardships too together, and we came out of all those experiences stronger in our bonding with each other. Like all married people, we did have our moments of discord but they did not last for long. Towards the end, we were joined at the hips as many people used to comment.

Today, as I write this, I miss her terribly, as from the coming Monday, I will enter a hospital for a hip prosthesis replacement surgery. On the last four occasions when I underwent the same experiences, she was with me and I will miss her presence this time at the hospital and during my post surgery recovery process at home.

While I see a lot of such long lasting marriages among my family and friends closer to my age, I see many marriages breaking down among the younger lot. My son was married for five years and divorced after that and on current reckoning, does not intend to get married again. I think that it is his loss but at the age of 40, he should decide for himself. I do not understand that value system, but am willing to accept that it is different rather than better or worse than mine.

The Lotus Leaf.

This post gets its inspiration from Judith’s post Waking In The Night. Like Judith’s ducks, we use the lotus leaf in India to illustrate the need for detachment.

Hindu scriptures often use the lotus flower and its leaf as metaphors. The plant though thriving in water, its leaf never gets wet. This symbolises the nature of a Jnani or a realised person who is ever blissful, untouched by the sorrows and the changes which is characteristic of the world.

The lotus flower is also one of the most beautiful that nature has given us and the metaphor for that is that though its roots are in the mud, it comes out so pure and beautiful.

The Bhagwat Geetha explains thus:

Brahmany ādhāya karmāni

sańgam tyaktvā karoti yah

lipyate na sa pāpena

padma-patram ivāmbhasā

BG V – 10

One who performs his duty without attachment, surrendering the results unto the Supreme Lord, is unaffected by sinful action, as the lotus leaf is untouched by water.

There is another metaphor using the lotus leaf. If a rain drop falls in a lake, there is no separate identity for that drop. If however, it falls on a lotus leaf, it shines like a pearl. We can therefore choose where we wish to fall on, as separate human beings.

Interesting Times.


“May you live in interesting times.”

I did not know that this phrase is actually a curse. Apparently, it means something different that what it literally suggests. I believe that the real meaning is “May you experience much disorder and trouble in your life.”

I would have used it to suggest that one should not live in painful or joyful lives which would imply being judgmental.

What do you think?