Month: December 2012

What Must I Do?

I am 69 going 70. I am in reasonably good mental and physical health though my shock absorbers have been replaced a few times. I am financially stable if not exactly in the same league as the subject of the article that you will read later, with my own roof over my head, an interesting, loving and supportive assortment of relatives and friends and a few club memberships for which people here will be willing to give their arms and legs.

More importantly, I am single and very eligible and I am told quite an amusing and interesting company to anyone. I may not look quite like Brad Pitt but I don’t think I am Homer Simpson either.

Despite all these sterling qualifications, I am single and unable to find myself a mate.

But just look at this enviable comparison. The bloke is nine years older than I am and he can find a 27 year old beauty to wed.

What must I do to get into the same league? No, I do not want to become a politician, but any other workable ideas will be most welcome. Most of my regular readers are ‘out of the box’ thinkers. Don’t disappoint me.

Another Instance Of Synchronicity.

My friend Megh had dropped in last evening and we lost track of time discussing various things till late. Around 9.30 pm we were discussing something for which the name of a company eluded me no matter how much I tried to recollect it.

I decided to call up my nephew Jai in Bengaluru and the first thing he asked was why I was up so late! I explained and asked him for the name which he promptly came up with much to my delight and relief. I thanked him and disconnected.

Further conversation was interrupted after just a couple of minutes by a phone call from Jai who again asked me the reason for my earlier phone call and I explained. He was in a state of some awe as he said that my earlier phone call to him had just gone to him while he was thinking of my late wife Urmeela. He was listening to some music which was her favourite too and he was remembering her. Receiving my phone call to him at exactly that moment was found by him to be eerie to say the least!

I told him that I was not surprised at all!

The Law Is An Ass.

ass

“The law is an ass” originates in Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist, when the character Mr. Bumble is informed that “the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction”.

This phrase has been brought to my attention again by a bizarre development in Australia. I leave my blog friend Keith to tell all about it in his blog post.

What a story! It can happen over here too Keith. I suppose that it could happen in any of the countries of the Common Wealth! And to the mother country what better way to salute than with this law – It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
According to legal experts, as parliament is still classed as a royal palace, any death of an MP (or Lord) would in theory have required members of the royal household to sit as the coroner’s jury. As this raises all sorts of questions of parliamentary privilege, such as the right to a state funeral, the polite convention arose that no parliamentarian dies until they are safely in the ambulance to a hospital.

Misogyny.

There are times that I find it difficult to understand some men’s attitude towards women. I find what is called eve teasing in India, alcoholic husbands ill treating wives, domestic violence etc quite common besides incidents like throwing acid attacks when spurned, taxi drivers taking single women passengers to isolated places to rape, gangs of wealthy students kidnapping girl students for the same purpose on the increase. I find all these abhorrent and simply cannot understand how men can be like that.

Sociology pundits wax eloquent on the motivation for such behaviour as societal change and the emancipation of women causing feelings of inferiority in men to cover up which such acts are indulged in. At least this is what is said about Indian men who are indeed grappling with these problems with increasing urbanisation and increased opportunities for Indian women to get education and employment.

Many writers, better informed than I have written on this subject in just about all possible publications and I do not want to elaborate further. I however found another very intriguing development which amazed me and educated me about a world that I did not know anything about. This is the video that did that and I hope that it will enlighten you as much as it did me.

Risk.

I wish that Grannymar had made a typo and the topic was risque rather than risk. Imagine if I had got it over the phone from her instead of reading it on the list! I would have gone to town with the topic.

Since that option is not available, I shall try and expound on the official topic of Risk.

Whenever we take any action with an outcome in mind, there are four possible outcomes. We get exactly what we hope for, we get more/better than what we hope for; we get less/worse than we hope for and finally something totally different from, even opposite of what we hope for. So, despite being capable of taking the action, there is always an element of uncertainty in the outcome and this is what we call risk. Most actions that we take however, are taken spontaneously without thinking too much about it and when that results in an unexpected outcome, is when we start wondering about risks.

My submission therefore is that risk is ever present in every action that we take and that it is nothing extraordinary to warrant a dissertation. Just getting out of the bed in the morning is a risky business. One can get caught in the folds of the sheets and trip and fall. Does one therefore not get out of the bed? Or does one never cross a road?

The big ticket risks are the ones that should cause us to pause and reflect before acting. Like marriage for instance! I can’t think of a bigger gamble than that in one’s life. Who better to write about it than Ghalib?

क़ैदे-हयात, बंदे-ग़म अस्ल में दोनों एक हैं,
मौत से पहले आदमी ग़म से निजात पाये क्यों?

Translation:

The prison of life and the bondage of grief are one and the same
Before the onset of death, how can man expect to be free of grief?

All the four outcomes that I had listed above are possible and before one takes the gamble, if he accepts that it will be one of the possible outcomes, he will learn to adjust to the reality, post the action. Here again, I have known that the decision to get married is taken impulsively, because it seems to be the correct one at that time without anticipating that it may not turn out to be the Mills and Boons type of marriage and can lead to avoidable misery.

Another major risky decision that people take is in career change with a similar approach and avoidable misery is often the outcome. I had suggested to Nandu that he become a gym greeter like Wallmart greeters to encourage visitors to use the staircase instead of the escalator and this is what he had to say in response – “I would but I am told Walmart don’t pay much and I don’t like Chinese goods ! And career wise it will be like going up a down escalator – going nowhere fast!”

We are all the time taking risks consciously or unconsciously and it is as much part of life as breathing is. But I do see people vacillating and not being decisive weighing the risks and suffering and it usually amuses me. It is not however very amusing to me when it comes to my own vacillation. I am right now at a crossroads about where to live for the rest of my life. An old plan to sell the present larger than required home and move into a more manageable smaller one is occupying my thoughts but leaving the known, comfort zone is causing unease to say the least. Quite whether this is an inability to take the risk or whether it is just a clinging to the past is a moot point. Not being someone who spends time on weighing risks before taking action and more often than not, depending on my instincts, honed by such a long innings in the crease of life, to not let me down. this particular conundrum is a new experience. I have to come to grips with it soon and I no doubt will.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post on the weekly Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where eleven of us write on the same topic. Today’s topic has been chosen by Grannymar. The ten other bloggers who write regularly are, in alphabetical order, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria SF, Padmum, Paul, Shackman, The Old Fossil and Will. Do drop in on their blogs and see what their take is on this week’s topic. Since some of them may post late, do give some allowance for that too!