Month: May 2019

Change And What If.

Shackman has suggested that both of us answer the following question for this week’s 2 on 1 Friday Blog Post. Please do go over to his blog to see what he has to say.

What single event – with a different result, would have caused the most changes in your life? Discuss those changes.

The single event that was more or less tectonic in its impact on my life was my late wife’s multiple cerebral and cardiac infarcts. This happened when I was 56 and at my peak career wise. I had to wind up all that involved, to become a 24/7 care giver for her.

Two other results, one, she was cured completely and the other, she succumbed and died could have both had the same impact on my life.

I would have simply returned to my career and reached further heights and made more money in the bargain. I would have retired after a few years definitely and even then, my life would have been vastly different than how it turned out to be.

For one, on retirement,  had Urmeela recovered fully, to start with, she and I would have travelled extensively within India with my showing her places that I had visited during my field selling days which, she had not. After we would have finished that, say, in a few years’ time, we would have retired to a farm house that we had planned and lived there as country folk visiting the city only occasionally but, providing a weekend home for our son Ranjan to enjoy breaks.  Had she died, I doubt very much that these would have happened.  I would have simply retired and lived the way that I have been living since her death.

Having said all that, let me add that I have no regrets. None whatsoever.

And to add a poignant song as a tribute to a lady that both my wife and I admired not only for this song but also for her acting prowesses here is a clip that I hope you will enjoy.

Voluntary Work.

I have had limited experience of volunteer work but those in which I was involved were highly satisfying except one where I had to quit as it was affecting my sanity.

The first exercise that I was involved in was way back in the mid seventies when I was a member of the local Lions Club and we launched a project to provide houses for poor workers with their own plots of land but, on which they could only build huts. I was given the responsibility to provide all the material for one such person who had inherited a small piece of land but did not have the wherewithal to build a house on it. I successfully completed the project by persuading building material suppliers to part with some materials and the recipient managed the labour himself. He is still in touch with me and his grand children now are successful professionals.

The next project that I was involved in was what we call shramdhaan here. It is a composite Sanskrit word containing two parts; shram meaning physical labour and dhaan meaning contribution. It was in the mid nineties after we had moved into our home where we now live. The neighbourhood had a plot of land earmarked for a park but the municipal authorities had not done anything to develop it. The local community association decided to plant a garden there and that is what happened with many residents contributing their labour to clear brush and plant flowering bushes and trees as well as laying down a walking / jogging path. Subsequently, the Municipal Corporation also contributed in various ways and today that park is among the best in Pune.


By the early part of this century, I had retired from business life and was a full time caregiver for my late wife who needed such care. A friend suggested that I become the Honorary Secretary of the local chapter of The Multiple Sclerosis Society Of India which had its office just about a hundred meters across the road from my residence. I did for a year and learnt a great deal about the disease, initiated many programmes for the patients and to raise funds. I also visited many patients to check on the utilisation of funds and other assistance provided to patients and came across instances of great heroism on the side of families of the patients and also the exact opposite of cruelty and neglect. The latter was the most heart breaking to see such human depravity and it finally drove me to quit in disgust. I was simply not able to handle the emotional drainage that such visits caused.

After that experience with MS, one of the local Chambers Of Commerce And Industry, we have quite a few of them, requested me to volunteer to mentor young entrepreneurs who it was funding to set up or expand existing businesses. I was given two mentees in the business that I had some knowledge of and I happily mentored both who, today are very successful businessmen and in regular touch with me. This gave me the greatest satisfaction of all the voluntary work that I have undertaken as, both are from the lowest economic and social strata and to help them navigate the world of banks, businesses, employees etc was simply amazing. If proof is needed that successful businessmen are not necessarily born but, can be made, these two bear that witness.

In the process of mentoring these two young men, I also got first hand experience of the seedy side of our local politics about which, the less said the better.

As my readers know, I have been a serious practitioner of Vipassana Meditation and apart from attending many ten day camps, I had also volunteered my services during camps for others and one such service camp was the most satisfying as I managed a group of totally blind young students who attended one such camp. That experience exposed me to the world of blind people like no amount of reading could have done.

My son and daughter in law are both deeply involved in animal welfare activities and their involvement spills over to my having to do something or the other too. My physical condition does not permit me to be more active though it gives me great satisfaction to see these two so committed and effective.

To sum up, I have had varied experiences but nothing on a life long basis. While I was involved, it was satisfying except towards the end of my stint with MS. I can’t think of getting involved in anything any more.

This is my contribution to this week’s 2 on 1 Friday blog post. Please go over to Shackman’s blog to see what he has to say on the same subject. Thank you.

A New Addition To The Family.

Koko has been under foster care in a kennel run by Manjiree’s sister Vandana and her husband Bala. She is blind and as such has not found a home for herself.

Enter Manjiree and Ranjan.

Two days ago, while I was in my most relaxed and comfortable with my own devices, Ranjan quietly came next to me and asked if we could adopt another dog. He explained that Koko was blind and the volunteers were unable to find a home for her. I readily agreed and the result is here.

Koko.

Ranjan photobombing.

Will post more as time passes.

Regrets.

“I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience and to respect the fury of nature.”
~ Paulo Coelho.

Yes, I have regrets. There are things that I wish I had not done. Things that I should have done but did not. To balance those, there are many things that I am glad that I did. It’s all part of one’s life.  Having said all that, if there is one regret that I have that overwhelms me often is that I outlived my friend of 48 years who was my wife for forty of those.

And what better way to write about those things than to listen to Frank Sinatra sing My way. Yes, I too did it my way just as all of us did it in our own individual ways and now reflection come to the same conclusion as Sinatra does.

My Way
Frank Sinatra
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I’ve traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all, all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh no, no, not me
I did it my way
For what is man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
And did it my way

Please do go over to Shackman’s blog to see what he has to say about this topic. Thank you.

And to lighten up this post a bit a cartoon from a particular favourite combo of mine.

The Great Divide.

The Independent’s headline ‘This is a battle of ideologies’: Divided Delhi goes to polls in penultimate phase of Indian election.

Time Magazine’s cover says, “India’s divider in Chief.

I just want to ask my British friends if when the British go to vote during the next election, the Independent will say “Divided Britain goes to vote. After all Britain today is divided by Brexiters, No Brexiters, No Deal Brexiters and others with other point of view as well as having many political parties with different points of view.

I also want to ask my American friends, if when they next vote, the Time magazine will say, “Divided USA goes to vote.” After all, they too have the Republican and Democratic parties plus various shades within like the Tea Partiers, The Socialists in each party as well.

What kind of arrogant journalism is this?

Absence.

If only she would allow me to photograph her when she looks like this, I would have taken a photograph of Chutki to show how much she misses Ranjan. This is exactly the expression that she has more or less constantly and no amount of cheering her up by Manjiree or me would change that. She is listless in ‘his’ absence.

Ranjan has gone to Bengaluru for a few days and till he returns on Tuesday afternoon, she is  unlikely to change her expression.

I suppose that if someone took my photograph now, I too will have a hangdog expression like that because, I too miss him. When he is here, I hardly get to talk to him as, he is busy with his own affairs but, I simply miss his presence in the house.

The less said the better about Manjiree. She too is moping around as though the heat is not enough to depress us.

All three of us are missing him. I shall post a photograph of Chutki after his return to show what a difference it makes to her life when he is around.