Wisdom by Hindsight
Today is my late mother’s birthday. Had she been alive, she would have been just short of a century old. For us, the four siblings she was more than a mother because she sacrificed a great deal to see that her children flourished despite a dysfunctional marriage and home.
Wherever she is, I want her to know that for the three surviving children down here, saudade is the emotion today. And, I hope that the missing sibling is playing bridge with her, her brother and sister in law.
This week’s Friday 2 on 1 fascinating topic has been chosen by Shackman. I am really curious to know quite what he will have to say on it and, I am sure, so will you be. So, without much delay, please go over to his blog to find out for yourself.
For me, the most important media is the print one. I prefer that to any other and I am lost without my quota of newspapers, periodicals and books. The largest of these is the newspaper one and India’s largest, The Times Group in two of its publications offers daily small stories and every Sunday, publishes a suplement devoted entirely to Spiritualism.
The next in the Print series will be my monthly dose of publications from five separate institutions, though three of them belong to the same order, The Sri Ramakrishna Mission.
The next in line for me are shows on religious / spiritual themes on our television channels. India has a long history of such serials starting with the famous Ramayana Series by Ramanand Sagar in the eighties. Today too, there are any number of channels offering such fare and I watch one on Sai Baba Of Shirdi every week day for half an hour.
India has any number of Godmen as they are called derisively by the sophisticates, and I occasionally get links through WhatsApp to Youtube broadcasts on spiritual matters by some of them. Here is one by Satguru, a very popular religious leader which should amuse my American readers.
One also gets bombarded by messages on spiritual and religious matters via WhatsApp, email and SMS messages, all using modern social media and I often get quite annoyed at the sheer volume of stuff that I have to delete every day.
I can therefore conclude that this must be the single largest subject for modern media and I am sure that my readers will agree.
The idea for this title for our weekly 2 on 1 Friday post where Shackman and I write on the same subject came to me when I received the following piece of humour from a friend:
Today is ‘World Marriage Day.Let us keep 2 minutes’ silence and read some quotes of fellow – sufferers.
A few interesting
*GLOBAL OPINIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE* :
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
– Al Gore
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– Socrates
Women inspire us to great things, and prevent us from achieving them.
– Mike Tyson
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
– Bill Clinton
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
– Michael Jordan
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– Barack Obama
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.
I was a married man for forty years and never once had to crack a joke on the institution. My late wife used to say that it was because I was hardly at home due to the travelling nature of my job and so, whenever I was at home, I just enjoyed the comforts and security of home and was not exposed to the other realities that other stay at home husbands did. By the time I retired or chose to retire due to her illness, the nature of the relationship changed and there was no scope for humour.
We got married according to Vedic rites the most important parts of which are the seven circumambulations that the couple take around a sacred fire.
After that ritual, this is the shloka from Vivaha Karmakandaa that every bridegroom is made to recite after taking the seven steps holding the hand of the bride around the fire. I too did.
धैरहम पृथ्वीवित्वं
रथोहं रेथोभूतत्वं
मनोहंसमिवाकतवम
सामहंसमि क्षुत्तृत्वं
सा माँ अनुव्रता भवा.
Dhairaham pruthviveethvam.
Rethoham rethobhuthathvam
Manohamsamivaakathvam
Saamahamsami kshuthruthvam
Saa maa anuvrthaa bhava.
“I am the sky and you are the earth. I am the giver of energy and you are the receiver. I am the mind and you are the word. I am music and you are the song. You and I follow each other.”
How beautiful! We did indeed follow each other for as long as her health lasted. When it failed, we got joined at the hips as it were and that lasted for another eight years till death did part us.
Like all relationships, we had our ups and downs but, mostly it was all ups. There was rare chemistry between us which I think was due to our having been friends for eight years before we decided to get married. I can honestly say that it was a successful marriage.
I despair at the frequency with which modern marriages break down but I understand that the world has changed and different value systems and pressures operate now than those that prevailed in our youth and middle ages.
Please do go over to Shackman’s blog to see what he has to say on the subject.
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
~ Bernard Meltzer
I strongly believe that the above definition is the most appropriate to define real friends. I have many friends who fit that description and I list some of them in the order of length of association. And, let me assure you that I think the same way about them too.
The first one is a friend EG, who now lives in retirement in Mumbai who was a neighbour and my late younger brother’s class mate in Montessori School. He has been a friend now for the proverbial three score and ten years. I don’t think that he would have continued to be my friend for all these years if I had not been slightly cracked.
The next one is NV, who lives in Chennai who also has been my friend for about seventy years now and still thinks that I am cracked.
The next one QSA too, lives in Mumbai who has been a friend now for fifty five years. He knows that I am cracked but, does not make a big deal of it and simply accepts me as I am and continues to be a great friend.
One more, AH who now lives in laid back retirement in Goa has been a friend for near thirty five years and insists on verifying that I stay cracked everyday by telephone calls. Strangely enough, our friendship started with his coming to check up on me while I was recovering from a surgery in a hospital at the request of another mutual friend and now a days, the two of us are handling many health issues and our discussing those gives us moral support as well as other forms of support at need.
There were some more but, as is logical for someone who is aged well over the national average, they have left this world and must be waiting for me to join them to play golf together in the hereafter. One of them AHK, a neighbour, left just a few days ago after a prolonged illness.
There are many who live now in the same place as I do, Pune who too have accepted me as I am and are great sources of joy and moral support. That almost all of them are alumni from the same Business School adds to the bonding.
My fellow Friday 2 on 1 blogger Shackman has suggested this week’s topic. as Please go over to his blog to see what he has to say about this topic.
Yesterday, Saturday the 9th of November 2019 was a very special day for us in India but, for me it also took me to some other events, two, very personal.
For my American readers, 9/11 would immediately bring to mind the WTC plane attack on September 11, 2001. By now, those three numerals in that particular order has become internationally known for that particular event.
For me as an Indian following a different system, 9/11 is the 9th of November. My first tryst with that date was when I was in Frankfurt attending a business meeting on 9/11/1989 when news came on about the Berlin wall being broken down. The meeting was adjourned and we switched on the news channel in the TV set provided in the meeting hall to see the wall coming down much to the joy of all present, and particularly my West German colleagues. The official meeting was recommenced after a while but, the evening celebrations almost made me miss my next morning flight to London.
Yesterday, 9/11/2019 in India was special for two reasons.
First was the judgement that was delivered in a long festering case in our Supreme Court on what is known here as the Ayodhya issue.
The next one was the opening of the Kartarpur Corridor between India and Pakistan.
As if these momentous events were not enough, it was the birthday of a very dear friend who is hard of hearing and I had to convey my greetings to her through her husband who was half asleep recovering from a pre birthday celebrations the previous night.
It was also the wedding anniversary of my God Son who decided to spend it alone while his lovely and more responsible wife spent it with her ailing grandson in a town 45 Kms away. I had to call them separately and insist that the former go over to the latter’s temporary abode to celebrate at my expense.
All in all, a good day.