A cousin who I am in regular touch with sent me this poem yesterday in WhatsApp.
VOID IN LIFE
The passing-away of
one’s better-half
Leaves a great void
in one’s daily life
Pondering over days
spent together
Appears impossible
to re-live twice
The goodness of life
one had enjoyed
Now appears like a
star in the sky
Can only visualise but
can-not realise
It is fact of Life, one
can summarise
The passing away of
one’s better-half
Leaves a great void
in one’s daily life.
He explained later that it was from a dear friend of his who had recently lost his wife.
Having experienced the loss of my wife I could relate and was mulling over the experience when my door bell rang, unusually by someone ringing it three times.
It spoiled my reverie and I went to open the door fully determined to let whoever it was who had done that a piece of my mind only to find that it was my elderly neighbour. On seeing her, my mood immediately changed and I opened the door to find out what prompted her to come over as, she rarely leaves her home as both she and her husband are not in the pink of health. I had not seen either of them since the outbreak of covid early last year.
She wanted to come inside to meet “Memsahib”. I thought that she wanted to meet my daughter in love and said that she was off at work and will return only late in the evening. She then interrupted me to ask to meet my wife.
I was totally zapped and told her that my wife had died twelve years ago. On hearing this, she broke down and I had to bring her in and make her sit down to recover. I then understood that her illness also included some element of dementia as, she kept talking about things that were ancient.
I had to calm her down, pacify her, talk about other things about our neighbourhood for about fifteen minutes and then escort her back to her home just across a landing from ours.
This was an unusual coincidence and I am still wondering if some kind of message is being sent to me!
What do you, my dear reader, think?
What an extraordinary visit, Ramana, she must have been a little frightened. I suppose it is a lesson on kindness and a reminder – I believe your dear wife had dementia too?
How kind of you to calm her down. I do this with my long term friend who has dementia. And I fear another friend is starting that long downhill slide too.
XO
WWW
I subsequently learnt that she indeed suffers from dementia and often has lapses in her memory. Yesterday, for some strange reason she remembered my late wife and insisted on coming over to visit.
If there is a message coming to you, I don’t know what it is but I believe it will reappear until you understand.
If it does, I will write about that experience too Kylie. Thank you.
I too do not have an answer to your question, although sometimes things do occur because of xyz. I wrote in reply on a blog about how my bully had “exited” – yesterday she phoned! It was congratulate me on creating the “crumb quilts” (she is on my f/b page) and then just as an after thought and it didn’t sound so nice said “you seem to have mastered them…”
We talked some, and for once she didn’t make any silly remarks on how I should go forward with anything. She seemed “tired” as if making one unkind remark was all she could manage. She is in some personal difficulties, so I didn’t go into to asking about it all…
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No, there are no answers to my question. I realise that now.
Interesting timing of these coincidences. I guess their meaning is whatever we choose to read into them. Glad you were able to be so understanding and assist this lady. Makes one grateful to not be having her experience but perhaps to wonder if we ever might and will we realize it’s beginning to happen?
Having had the experience of being the caregiver for a dementia affected patient, I can say that there are different kinds of dementia and in some cases one cannot realize that it has become to happen.