A Very Useful Book.

During the lockdown that has now entered its 18th month for us, I have had the honour of mentoring four different young men, all with marital difficulties.

In all the cases, the main culprit is, the breakdown of communications during the lockdown which meant loss of income, or working from home. In both cases, the claustrophobic existence within homes and the very unusual constant physical proximity to each other would appear to have been responsible for the discomforts.

A further reluctance to go for counselling or consultation with professionals led these young men to approach me for advice and finding that essentially, the problem was break down of communications I had recommended the reading of one book which has turned out to be a kind of panacea of sorts.

I had come across the book in the early seventies in my own journey of discovery of communication skills through attending seminars which was part of my training and development in the organisation where I was working. There is no doubt in my mind that the book taught me very valuable lessons which enabled me to be a fairly successful manager of people and other resources.

I am sure that many of readers would have read it at some point of time in the past and hope that they will agree with me that it is a remarkable tool to improve our communication skills. And the book is:
If you are interested in finding out more about the contents of the book you can do so here.

8 thoughts on “A Very Useful Book.”

  1. I remember reading that wonderful book as well.
    I read it for help in trying to understand a very difficult mother in law.
    I have Always turned to books… self-help or otherwise in learning ways to accept and understand human nature.
    I’m sure you’re a great help for these young people in their marital troubles. at the very least you’re probably a wonderful sounding board!

    1. I used it to great effect in learning how to communicate effectively with my very difficult father in his last few years which he chose to spend with me. I don’t know if I am a great help but, I try and just offer a sounding board for them to vent and that seems to help quite a bit beside such recommendations like this book to be read or some article in some magazine or even introductions to counsellors or psychiatrists. The last two particularly difficult to do as they are considered taboo by most people here.

  2. Never heard of it but getting back to your “married couples” – I know that exact feeling of suddenly having my now very-ex husband suddenly work from home. He had to have a fax and that tied up the only landline in the house, he demanded a whole lot more and he constantly wanted to know what I was doing…

    How your couples will respond might well be quite different, in today’s age of life and being. On the other hand I’ve seen couples at retirement period go through the same things. Suddenly the man of the house is no longer “putting on his suit/overalls and going off to work” – he’s under the feet of the woman of the house. Wanting to know all the details – often the man has no home hobby, he was “married to his job”

    I remember a friend whose husband banded together with another 5 (retired) others, they bought a house together and then spent their time renovating it – when it was done, sold it on and repeated the scenario – they loved being being together, they all had different skills. If one had to leave, there was always another retiree arrivedd.

    Everyone needs a hobby or two
    Catherine de Seton recently posted..I’m feeling better, more in control, today

    1. Young people nowadays with busy careers have little time for hobbies unlike during our times Catherine. The lockdown threw couples together more than they have been used to and this has led to many problems all over. Even children now are reported to be suffering depression and anxiety. I have also heard that some pets have had problems too!

      1. It will be interesting to know when those young people reach retirement age and either are forced or decide to retire. Many think they will go off on a long overseas trip but do they have the resources to sustain it OR will they be required to grandparent their own son/daughter’s offspring. The day may well start at normal dawn time, but the whole day stretches ahead of one … hours of “what will we do today”

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