My story about my having escaped being adopted by my uncle and aunt caused some of my readers to comment about the process of adoption. I had responded with “Adoption is quite common in India when a couple is childless and someone from within the family gives away a child to them in adoption. This is done primarily to keep the family wealth within the family.”
Here is a big story in India which is quite a scandal in the South of India where the cast is famous and influential. The wealth is obviously the villain of the piece!
There are other reasons for the phenomenon and this post will explain one such reason. Balram breathed his last three months ago, and for all religious purposes, as long as I am alive I am the father for Suresh, who has been hinting that I should include his name in my will!
Talking about adoption, there is another story that I had written about some time ago which never fails to bring a lump to my throat.
Just read the touching story about Prasad and Meera’s blind dog – thanks xx
They are a beautiful family. Prasad himself is quite handicapped but does not let it affect him. A remarkable fellow in more ways than one. He is one of FFs.
Your family story brought back memories of someone I once worked with.
About ten years ago I conducted a very venerable and traditional Catholic cathedral choir, here in the Rheinland Palatinate, one member of which was, as I learned in time, the adopted son of the brother of his real father. As in your story, the family were childless, and he and his brothers brought the family lands to great fame as the makers of very expensive wines. In his case, as he told me himself, the fact that his family gave him away was not good for him, and he became an alcoholic, simply because, although they lived not far from one another, he felt so rejected. Although I understand the reasoning, I simply don’t understand why the uncle didn’t just give the lands to him and visit more often, but this family adoption is more common here than most think. As is the paying of huge amounts of money to be adopted by someone with a royal title.
Adoption as a means to keep wealth / kingdoms etc within the family seems to be quite well spread all over the world. I have been getting other information via mail on this phenomenon.
What an interesting story about disowning an adopted son for etchical reasons.
I understand adoption to keep a child within a family but it’s still hard for me on a personal level to imagine giving up a child to anyone. I do believe I’d grieve myself to death.
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While I have often joked among my friends about exchanging kids, if push had come to shove, I would not have given away our son. My late wife would have smothered me to death with a pillow if I had even tried.
How did you feel about almost being adopted? It sounds as if living with your uncle and aunt was a happy time.
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At the time I did not know about it. I would not have understood it even if I had known it any way. I came to know much later when I was in my teens. In any case, right from our very young days, we were used to being parcelled off to being with our grandparents or uncles and aunts. Yes, I quite enjoyed the time I had with them and never did complain. That time made my bond with them stronger and my late wife and then my son also developed strong bonds with them while they were alive.
When I was writing the story, I thought about you as I had known about your being an adopted son of an adopted son.
Very stirring post, Ramana. I am torn between completely rejecting an idea of adopting a child out and admiring generosity of parents who do that. I experienced feeling of rejection based only on my parents sending me for very long holidays with my grand parents who I loved very much. My sensitivity to being rejected is still present in me, even if better controlled with time.
Your own example made me ponder on the subject and I realized that even this issue is not black and white. If the culture of a country accepts such situations as normal, then one can find many good reasons in giving a possibility to children or adopting parents of a better life.
I love the story of the adopted dog. You call it a karmic incident and I love your word describing lucky coincidence. I came across many situations that seemed arranged by a higher power for a reason. This is reassuring and a bit spooky.
Thank you for your very kind words Anna. If you are anywhere near Sydney, you can call on them and see what a lovely family they are.
my first thought…
tears of joy for the adopted blind dog. special people do that kind of thing.
second thought… good grief charlie brown. if all you said about suresh and his businesses is true… i feel he should not be bothering you about putting him in your will! money and love do not mix like that in my book.
and third thought… about ‘my story’ …
i wonder… what kind of life you’d have had with a ‘father’ who was more loving than your own birth father. you’ve said how close you were to your mother and how she greatly influenced your life for the good…
but your father… not so much.
one can never know about a path not taken.
this was a fascinating post on many levels!
something that stuck out to me too… ‘working 10 to 5!!!’
i can’t imagine hours like that! i always had to be there at the desk by 8 sharp and didn’t leave until 5pm. that didn’t count over the hour it took just to get there! LOL.
do they still have a lunch period working 10 to 5?
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Working 10 to 5 was quite the norm in our socialistic pattern of society days. Things changed after 1990 but even before that, there were driven people, who would work brutal hours. On occasions, I have too. I had also written about my role model being another uncle and not my father. Yes, the paths not taken will always puzzle one if one cares to dwell in the past which I rarely do.