First Borns.

This message was posted on Facebook by a lady friend.

“First borns are always the meanest.

Because we became parents of children we did not make.  So, yeah, we are very angry.”

My friend added the comment:  “And that too at a really young age.”


Being a First born and upset, I responded : “I am sure that my three siblings will totally disagree.”

My friend responded : “It’s different when you’re a guy. Guys are not expected to parent their siblings but girls are. It’s the bane of society where women are expected to shoulder responsibility from the day a sibling is born 🤷‍♀️”

What do you think?

8 thoughts on “First Borns.”

  1. I’m the mellowest of all my dad’s 6 acknowledged kids. Unfortunately, even today, I barely know the four youngest who are from his second marriage. My sibling from his first marriage and I got along well until she married when she was 15 – then I didn’t see her so much – and, a bit later, I joined the Navy, left home and only managed to see her every few years. In my dad’s second family, the oldest was a girl, and, yes, she does have anger issues, but, then again, so does the second oldest, who was a boy. He just rebeled against everything and was always in trouble for it. I sometimes wonder if I would have been able to be a positive influence on my younger siblings if I had gone to live with them in California in the late 60s like my dad wanted me to. (Maybe I would have just rubbed my dad the wrong way and ended up like my younger brother.)

    Water under the bridge, spilt milk.
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  2. I’m a first born and really resented the caretaking expected of me which meandered out into the RC church which forbade birth control and birthing nearly killed my mother each time and her recovery took months and months due to obgyn, under dictates of the RCs, who smashed her pelvis each time.

    I adored my mother but you can see how complicated it was for me. Plus all boys in the family.


  3. In answer to your question: Yes, it is different for boys. And that’s ok. And to be expected.

    I am the eldest (by a long shot) of four siblings.

    Unlike WWW I never resented being my mother’s right hand, her handmaiden. It came with the territory; and I loved my siblings. I also had one massive advantage, something that divides me from my siblings who are much closer in age than they are to me. As the psychologist’s crow flies I am that most mystical beast of an adored ONLY of a large extended family, to later become the responsible shepherd of my two wilful sisters and my dear sweet brother. The disadvantages? I was told when I was still a child myself that, as the “eldest”, I had to be the reasonable one, the responsible one, the ONE. Fine. Whatever. No skin off my nose to placate a toddler, putting myself last, having to grow eyes in the back of my head to make sure they were safe and the house wouldn’t burn down.

    What turned out more difficult (unbeknown to me until about ten years ago), and does have some repercussions to this day, that I had a status my siblings didn’t.


    1. Very interesting to read about this aspect of your life. I had not known that you were the first born. Your experience is indeed rather different from the other ladies who have been the first borns.

  4. I was first born and as the oldest I have heard more family stories than either of my siblings, I was also passed more skills but I was never expected to be the de-facto parent to my siblings. It worked out well for me in many ways though I was probably the most reluctant of the siblings to forge my own way, that has been hard for me

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