I got two text messages from Amazon on my cellphone to the effect that a book that I had ordered had been delivered successfully. I had been at home and had not received any delivery from a courier and so got online to Amazon and went to their customer service facility and chose to chat online about my problem.
I was asked to wait till a representative came online which took a couple of minutes but when she came online, she because of the name, she started off by typing “Hello Ramana, how may I be of assistance?”
I responded “I am 75 years old Ms.XYZ. Do you still want to address me by my first name?”
She promptly responded, “Sorry Sir, how may I be of assistance?”
We proceeded to chat and she solved my problem for me.
Amazon wanted me to respond to a customer feed back where I have left my response to the effect that they should not use the first name system of addressing their customers.
Yes, I understand that in the West this is quite common and acceptable but in India, this simply is not. We are formal in our addressing of people, particularly so when it comes to strangers. You would notice that I addressed the lady representative as Ms automatically and instinctively.
I shared this story with another senior citizen friend who too confirmed that he found it annoying when total strangers addressed him by his first name.
I wonder what Nick would say about this!
22 thoughts on “First Name.”
I agree with you on this one Ramana. It is now common practice in the UK. It used to be the ‘rule’ that you only used someone’s first name if they invited you to do so. Such as when you introduced yourself to someone by saying .. “My name is Smith” .. then they understood that they should address you as .. ‘Mister Smith’ .. but if you said .. “I’m John Smith” .. It was OK for them to call you ‘John’.
Mind you, It’s not as bad as when my wife and I are addressed as “You guys” when being served in a restaurant !
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I am surprised that a couple, that too senior citizens can be called “you guys” in a restaurant. Simply unthinkable here except in the case of some family situations where youngsters can affectionately use that term for their parents or grandparents. Even that only in English speaking homes and never ever in a home wher any of our local languages are spoken. There are simply no comparable phrases/words.
It doesn’t bother me, probably because I have never grown up. 😉
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Good for you.
As Big John says, using someone’s first name is now the norm in the UK. Personally I like it, I find it friendly and informal. If anyone calls me Mr Rogers, I find it rather odd. Jenny and I are also addressed as “you guys”, but that doesn’t bother me either.
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I wouldn’t mind using the first names but after due introduction and permission has been asked for and received.
Your culture, your customs. Not an issue for me as I tend to be very casual.
As I read your post I thought of the number of times I have addressed you as Ramana. After that I quickly recalled that many of the immigrants my father worked with felt unable to call him John so he was frequently known as Mister John. It’s quite a good compromise, I think.
“You guys” is a dreadful form of address though I am sure the people who use it are oblivious
We are acquainted with each other through our blogs and it is normal for bloggers to call each other by the names that they use in their blogs. I don’t mind you calling me by my fist name as I call you too by your name.
I have similar doubts as Kylie, but since I belong to your generation, could I continue to call you by your first name. I will be OK with a negative answer.
Similarly, to Shackman my Australian culture made me comfortable with being called by the first name, but I must say I am often asked a question “may I call by your first name?” When I go to Poland then first name addressing is not on at all, sometimes for years and years. So, I am flexible here.
The same comments that I made for Kylie will be how I would respond to you too Anna. I straddle many cultures, here locally as well as overseas through my blogging and visiting other blogs as well as friends through email / facebook / whatsapp and so am quite flexible too.
I remember when I first started following your blog and somehow I sensed instinctively that I didn’t want to overstep. I asked your permission to call you rummy. and you graciously replied!
i live in an ‘over~friendly’ state in this country. it is not unusual for a waitress or other service person to address you as “what’ll you have young’in?” they seem to think that is a compliment to your age?
“honey” and “sweetheart” are also common ways to address strangers here. it’s a southern thing and widely accepted and even more used the deeper south you go in America.
there was a nurse the last time I was in hospital who kept saying “young lady” to me. “how are you this morning young lady?”
I should have given her my Robert D impression … “are you talking to me?”
the world is becoming super casual and the new generations are making their own rules. I remember finding it odd to read that using a period when texting is considered rude! but then I don’t care for capital letters… so touche’ i guess!
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Being friendly is something that I would like. Being very casual and informal in addressing elders is not something that I would cherish unless like you point out there has been mutual agreement to treat the relationship in that manner.
Women in Northern Ireland are still universally referred to as girls, despite decades of feminists saying that “women” is more accurate and respectful. Ah well, maybe in fifty years time….
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I have found it interesting that, with the current reactor operator license class, some of the students started out calling me Mr. Goad. I’ve always been called “Mike” at work and it was a little jarring to be addressed so formally. They are all younger millennials (aka Generation Y) in their mid 20s while I am in my mid 60s.
Now, though, after I told them to “call me Mike,” that’s what they do, except for one of the “older” students.
In the navy, it was fairly normal to address other sailors by their last name. I didn’t care much for that, but I got used to it. I’m not sure if this guy is ex-Navy, but I think it’s likely. More often than not, though, he’ll address me by my last name. (Interestingly, his name is Mike, also.)
There’s several Mikes, short for Michael, in the Operations department, which is the group that we provide training to. One of them, though, is adamant that he be called Michael. He’s the only one that I’ve ever come across — and Michael is a very common name here — who insisted on that.
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The first time that I had to be called something other than Ramana was when I was enrolled in a school for a few months as a stopgap arrangement. There was another Ramana in the class and so the Class Teacher decided that I would be Rummy as the other fellow had been in the school for longer!
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