Wisdom by Hindsight
Thank you Mary.
How does the nursery rhyme go: Mary, Mary, quite contrary.
I am afraid as beautiful as the stitching the two sentiments are not mutually exclusive. Quite the opposite. I’d be most unhappy if people didn’t evaluate me and my actions (what I call ‘feedback’) and I dare say that those close to me expect nothing else from me. Thus, chiming with the embroidery, we have endless scope to ‘improve’ ourselves.
U Ursula recently posted..Tale from the unsuspecting
As ususal, you and another friend, synchronicitically have inspired my latest post. It would be interesting to read your reaction to that.
But self evaluation limits the data stream and it’s too easy to be blinded by the light of your own supposed goodness – LOL. That’s the problem with self help sound bites. And what are friends for if not keeping us honest by evaluating and commenting – offering feedback as Ursula suggests. But point well taken – one needs to be open to change and honest feedback is required.
And the most difficult thing to do is to be open to change.
I have to agree with the other two. Other people’s observations can be as enlightening as self-criticism, as long as the comments are affectionate and thoughtful and tentative rather than malicious and bullying.
Withe the proviso that we must be open to receive such advise and willing to change.
Somehow I don’t think of you as continually evaluating and improving yourself. Am I wrong? Cheerful Monk recently posted..More Roadwork
You are right in thinking that I am not continuously evaluating and improving myself. I am however constantly changing and evolving, spontaneously and effortlessly. I do not consider that as improvement or deterioration of who I am. My endeavour is to drop thinking of the past and the future and to live in the present to the extent I am able to bring back my mind to the present from its wanderings.
In the context of my earlier post on being a happy person, I am content with the route that I am following. It is sufficient for me that I do not indulge in evaluating and judging others. I accept them for what they are till something they do or say interferes with my equilibrium. If that happens, those persons do not feature again in my life.
A lot I think depends on how one defines “happiness” for themselves – not how others define it . Having said that many people are happy without even defining it – they just are ! The same holds good for people who are “unhappy” . The “factors/stimuli ” that make people happy or unhappy are external but happiness comes from within . A serial killer or a cancer patient could also be happy ; the richest person in the world or those with several reasons to be happy , could be unhappy . Don’t worry ( or try to either analyse it to death or oversimplify it as Lisa above had done ) ..Be Happy ( as the old song goes ) …and above all be good ! Or like the other good old song : “pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile , smile , smile ..”
Nandu, you have now known me for near forty years. Where would you slot me? Why?
I would slot you in the happy category. why? You made the best of all available opportunities that arose in your life and stayed cheerful. You did not blame circumstances. You acted as needed and got on with life.
Yes we both “packed up our troubles in our old kit bag and smiled , smiled , smiled …..” I believe it is a blessing , a gift , a state of mind ( not necessarily anything we have been taught or read about – I speak for myself ) for which we have to be grateful . I tell some people who are constantly cribbing and cursing their bad luck – ” Go visit a hospital ” – I suspect that even if/when they do, it may or may not have the desired effect . For me that about sums it up .
I’m relatively happy with my life…about 10% at this point could be improved but right now they are on the back burner! I have no idea what other people are imagining and they are probably 99% wrong in their evaluation… Cathy in NZ recently posted..Bathroom saga
And that about sums it up for most people that I know Cathy. If all of us could accept that instead of chasing the 10%, I think that we would have a very different society to live in.
What percentage of the world’s population falls into one or the other of those two categories? Looney recently posted..The Orthodox Faith, by John of Damascus (676-749AD)
Strictly between you and me, all of us fall into both depending on context.
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