Ever since I read Nick’s post, I have been looking for a beautiful story that I had come across to teach how to get over being hurt. I have finally located it and I want to share with all my readers.
Once upon a time, there was a guy. He deeply loved a girl. He dreamed of her all the time. He would send her flowers, give her gifts, say nice things, and express his love. She accepted his gifts, flowers, chocolates and all, but wouldn’t give or say anything in return other than a thank you. The boy still didn’t lose hope and thought one day his love would win over her, that, one day she would melt and she would reciprocate. He thought the girl did love him, only that she wasn’t expressing it yet. It went on a for a while. Nothing changed.
One day, the girl informed him that she was moving out of town. He pleaded with her to not go. The girl, however, said that she had more important things to do.
“Why, what about love? Is it not important? Don’t you love me?” the guy said.
“Love? What about it? I never loved you,” she said.
The guy got up and left the place. Everyone in the friends and family got concerned about him. They were certain he was broken beyond repair, but there was not a sign of hurt on his face or in his actions. Some thought he was really depressed and was acting cocky to hide his real feelings. A few days passed and he kept on living normally. One day his friends confronted him.
“You must be really sad and heartbroken. We know you are hurt,” they said.
“Hurt? Not really. I’m happier than before.”
“How can this be? You loved her to bits, whereas she dumped you callously saying she never loved you.”
“You see,” he said, “I lost someone who never loved me, but she lost someone who loved her deeply. So, tell me, who has actually lost?”
Great story with a greater lesson. A perspective I don’t think I have ever really given thought to before. There is a time or two in my life I could have used that advice. Question is, would I have been strong enough to put it into practice?
Alan G recently posted..The “5-Star” Movie Trilogy….
Been there, done that — sort of, 42 years ago. I was the one who moved — went in the Navy — and, then, I got a “Dear Mike” letter. It hurt, but ya gotta move on. Letting emotional pain fester just makes things worse and, if you don’t get past it, it becomes a part of who you are.
Mike recently posted..Eyes of the Great Depression 133.
The more we interact the more I find a lot of similarities in our lives Mike!
Great story! I’ll try to think of the positive next time. Actually I already do. When I do something stupid I say that my punishment is to………..& I do it to redeem myself.
I have said this earlier on a few other occasions BHB, you are a one off.
Moving story, Ramana. Indeed tear inducing.
However, she did not lose anything since she never reciprocated his feelings.
U
Ursula recently posted..Questionmark
Quite. One can use her side of the story to teach someone in a similar situation who may feel guilty about going away from a one sided love affair.
the woman in nick’s workplace that needed to be treated so gently that she might otherwise break…
well. i would be kind… just as he was. but i disbelieve all that pain.
i’ve known several people like that before and it seems to me more as a means of manipulation. they may have been genuinely hurt at one time. but I think they soon realize it is a supreme way to get attention.
and so they play the sad victim forever.
but then. i’m not a therapist. so probably shouldn’t have said that.
your story of the young man was a very interesting slant on the unrequited love situation!
tammyj recently posted..clearness of knowing
While there are indeed people who use some experiences to manipulate others, there are others who simply seem to be overwhelmed by the experience. The story is just a tool to use for young people in some grief! They seem to rebound faster than the older ones.
maybe when a hurt escalates it’s not because of a grief but rather at the hands of bully…maybe a parent or sibling.
by the time ‘you’ might get know a ‘hurt’ personage – the damage was long ago or it continues behind hidden doors…
Cathy in NZ recently posted..Additional: Gisborne
Sadly, that often is the case and in those cases counseling will be the only way out i suppose. I am currently reading a remarkable book on the subject. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AKBEHMG/ref=oh_d__o00_details_o00__i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
When a relationship I would like doesn’t turn out I usually say, “It’s not a good match.” A good reminder to move on and try something else. Let’s face it, the fellow was besotted — he didn’t know the real girl.
Cheerful Monk recently posted..Light Bulb Moments
Needless to say, my approach needs a lot of practice!
Cheerful Monk recently posted..Light Bulb Moments
Sure, I appreciate that.
It is a story to illustrate a way out of a bad situation.
My guess is the story is too simplistic to help someone mourning the loss of a love/an illusion of love. It reminds me of the Sidney Harris cartoon: “I think you should be more explicit here in step two.: http://blog.stackoverflow.com/wp-content/uploads/then-a-miracle-occurs-cartoon.png
Cheerful Monk recently posted..It’s March!
A very apt cartoon CM. I have used it in a mail to a mentee.
That sounds more like infatuation than love to me.
Grannymar recently posted..Sunday one liners ~ 19
But the moral of the story on how to get on with life when loss comes our way is still valid.