“I thought we were supposed to judge in proportion to our defects? Isn’t it the first hand experience that permits us to better judge?”
The above comments are from Looney for my blog post Walk. The image that elicited this response is this:
Looney has got my creative juices flowing with his comments that I thought it best that I get Shackman also to offer his two bits on the same topic without the background of Looney’s comments to get a different perspective. You can see what he has to say on this, our Friday 2 on 1 blog post here.
Let me start by looking at it from my imperfections or defects, keeping the blog post Walk in context. Both my hip joints have been replaced and revised, I walk with a limp and with considerable difficulty. This handicap also prevents vigorous exercise and so I find it difficult to reduce weight using normal routines. I am also blessed with COPD. I am not giving excuses but, this are facts of life for me. Before the second revision of one of the replaced hip joints and the onslaught of COPD, I was an avid walker and had managed to keep my weight down. After that surgery, it has not been possible for me to that.
When I see some one else obese, without a similar background, I find it difficult to understand why that person cannot exercise to lose weight. On the other hand, when I find someone without such handicaps exercising and / or dieting, I cannot help feel jealous while at the same time applauding them.
So, to answer Looney’s question, yes, first hand experience permits us to better judge.
Proceeding further, while the health issues of obesity need not be overstated, the aesthetic aspect of it has taken alarming proportions due to an industry that hopes to gain by condemning large bodies. I would like to introduce here a remarkable phenomenon called Wabi Sabi from Japan that celebrates imprefections which in my opinion includes plus sized human bodies! I quote – “In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”
To conclude however, I would like to sign off with my own preference. Be non judgemental in all situations and just accept people, things and situations as they are. I am not there yet but, hope to reach there ere too long.
Interesting. I am very accepting – very much like you. I do not, however, have the benefit of your eastern philosophies of life, and so you are blessed with substantially more patience than I. When it comes to looks, I find that personality greatly enhances physical features so pleasant folks always look appealing. Curmudgeonly people like me – well lets just say I am not funny nor nice enough to compensate. Imperfections make us unique.
shackman recently posted..Imperfections 2-on-1 #20
Another friend who likes to deflate me suggested that I accept easily because I can neither fight nor flee! Be that as it may, like you have suggested elsewhere, our culture here is far more gentle on older and or infirm folk and that could be the reason for my being able to accept without judgement. A simple matter of conditioning!
Even with very regular exercise, it’s hard to lose weight, at least for me. I also try not to be judgemental of others, but it can be difficult.
Mike recently posted..Chickaree
I started a 6/18 diet regime from the 15th of March and have lost 7 Kgs since then without any additional exercise to what I was already doing. You might like to consider a combination of fasting and exercising as suggested by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9Aw0P7GjHE
i like that picture of you in the post. very dapper.
and the one with the families in the lunch where you so wisely had them put the tables together beforehand.
everything in America is seemingly judged by how youthful it is. and yet our majority become more and more obese. even children now. a conundrum.
and if one is lucky… you will get older in any country! so not even sure where i was headed with this! LOL. i love the concept of Wabi Sabi. always have. never thought of it in a human aspect though. but it’s a perfect example! SH
tammy j recently posted..may day
One of my very dear friends is a hunchback. He is also the most humane and loving person that I have ever met. Unfortunately he got married to someone who could not appreciate him and made his life hell for a while till they got divorced. The wife maintained that she felt humiliated going out with him. The judge almost threw the case out but, my friend suggested that he appreciated his wife’s problem and was prepared for the divorce.
He is now in a relationship with another lady who so far at least has not expressed any problems.
That is the way the dice falls under certain circumstances.
“Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing.” Curiosity and lifelong learning is a lot more fun than putting other people down.
Cheerful Monk recently posted..Trip to the Land
Also, “Doing the best we can with what we have left.” I like the light tone of that one.
Cheerful Monk recently posted..Flower Beds
In agreement here too.
Agreed.
I was sharing in a group with the topic being imperfection: striving for perfection.
In Irish knitting, which I create, if a mistake is made it is left on the work as a signature to remind our mortal selves that we are not perfect, only the balance of the planets and heavens is. Gaia.
XO
WWW
That is exactly Wabi Sabi. All a matter of perspectives.
Hi Rummy,
There is a fine line between judging (as in analysing a situation and offering a ruling on it, which outside a court context means advising) and being judgemental. Sometimes, when we give an advise the recipient of the advice takes offence and believes we are being judgemental, and accuse us of such. Human relationships are complex because humans are complex, so we can try all we want to do the right thing, and not to judge, but it will depend on the other side too.
Cheers
So, the best thing to do under the circumstances is to be accepting and not offering advice unless specifically asked for.
Exactly, my friend.
Just to further my contrarianism, I will note that the sole function of the brain is to make judgments, from when to trigger a heart beat to whether the food in front of us is edible or not to the trustworthiness of the email that just arrived from the third wife of Nelson Mandela with an offer we can’t refuse. Since I am both a slow learner and bad listener, I have to make the mistakes for myself, then ponder the theory that I had already successfully ignored. Only through this process of, um, “hindsight”, can I hope to gain any “wisdom” to make better future judgments! But I think some here are much further along in this process than I am!
Methinks that you are being overly modest!
I can be judgemental at times although I try not to be. I had an uncle who was fond of the saying “to know all, is to understand all”.
My experience of life says that is very often true. The challenge then is to see a situation I might be tempted to judge and instead assume that there is something I do not know.
I like this post and the comments
I am glad that you liked the post and the comments. I enjoyed the exchanges as well.