Memory Gap.

My brother Arvind and I had not spoken to each other for a couple of weeks and so I called him up to enquire how things were with him. While chatting about various things we came to discussing our sons and their careers.

Arvind’s son Deepak has recently relocated to Dubai to set up a branch for his employers. He is a much sought after professional in his field and while discussing his career Arvind mentioned that he could have done better had he taken up another offer that he had received earlier in his career.

He however commented that he was neither asked for nor offered any advice in the matter and pontified that neither he nor I would have either asked for or taken advice from our parents at that age. I also shared the information that my son Ranjan neither seeks nor takes my advice on his career and I don’t mind. I also said that the so called generation gap is nothing but a memory gap!

All the children in India and the two Rajgopaul boys in the UK have settled down to good careers and their parents are quite happy that they have all turned out as they have. There is no need for us to worry about them.

Anxieties of parents outrun actual experiences of children!

17 thoughts on “Memory Gap.”

  1. I think it is fun to examine generation gaps and note the differences as you reflect on why things changed with each generation.

  2. I shouldn’t smile – but I do. The trouble with advice is that – whilst I seek it – the giver of advice wants it to be validated by you acting on it. That is, of course, not how it works. Advisory only, not gospel.

    Ursula recently posted..Chat chat chat

  3. wise words indeed.
    to think there are some families literally torn apart because the child in question doesn’t live up to the “plans” of the father! (or the mother) for that matter.
    it’s their lives to live. like in ‘the prophet’ they are merely loaned to us for awhile.
    tammy j recently posted..moving on old bean

    1. Ah, Khalil Gibran and “On Children”, one of my favourites to quote to parents who complain about their children. And believe me there are plenty of those around.

  4. I still have friends, who feel they need to advise me on what is “best for me”…the problem with the new driveway seems to be causing one friend a lot of grief, because she is sure as eggs I will fall somehow. Actually I have worked out the best tactic which is walk up the middle part, the part where the wheels of a car wouldn’t normally pass over…it’s wheel track that is the most broken up!

    As to what I should do life way – that is open to many comments and “advice”

  5. Well, I don’t know about the memory gap, but I do know that my children would and do much better in discussing things among themselves and their own peers than ever asking our advice. I believe the same was true between us and our parents. At least, they never really got the chance. My parents may have given me little hints but I probably ignored them.

    I do realize that I am privileged that all of my children and adult grandchildren seem are ensconced or on their ways to self-supporting careers. This is a blessing as there are people just as smart and capable who are not able to find such good work.

    I don’t discredit our hard work or that of our family by saying that we are blessed and recognize our privilege.
    Mother recently posted..Spirit Day

  6. Hi Rummy,

    Well, I’m not at that stage yet but I can share that I always sought my mum’s advice when it came to my professional life (I would leave her out of my love subjects though lol). I think it’s natural for children to seek independence of thought, of decisions etc…natural process of existence.

    Have a great week.

    Max Coutinho recently posted..The Chaos That Is Ethiopia

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