A friend recently went shopping and got me something that he thought would be a good thing for me to have. He brought it over and grandly gifted it to me after demonstrating how the gadget worked.

I thanked him profusely for his gift as well as his thoughtfulness.

Last week, I gifted the gift away to someone else as I believed that the gadget would be more useful for that person than it was for me.

Yesterday the first friend visited me and asked me how I found the gadget and I told him that I had given it away to someone else and he was most offended. He thought that it was rude of me to have gifted away a gift.

I suggested that once it was gifted to me, what I did with it was my lookout and he should not get offended. He disagreed.

Who is right?

32 thoughts on “Regifting.”

  1. I think the right thing to have done in this particular case was to tell him straight up that you would not be able to use the gift and leave it to him to give it to someone else . But otherwise recycling of gifts is quite a common phenomenon , as long as you don’t end up giving it back unwittingly later !

  2. I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, but my reaction is he shouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to hear the answer. I think accepting the gift and thanking him was the friendly thing to do. It reminds me of dogs at the animal shelter. Sometimes they will politely take the treat you give them and then drop it. They don’t want the treat but like the social interaction.
    Cheerful Monk recently posted..Surprises

  3. Bloody hell, Ramana. This is a difficult one. There is no wrong or right. All I know is that people will feel offended if you reject their gifts. Many an item hidden away in the cupboard to be brought out and given pride of place when Aunt what’s her name comes to visit. Particularly if it’s a wedding gift. Oh dear. Father of Son kept imploring me to “drop” a particular eyesore “accidentally”. I couldn’t, could I? The giver was my sister.

    However, there are ways to squirrel away the unwanted. Should you need any tips please do let me know. In fact, there might be a whole industry in my ideas.

    Of course you are right in as much as once something is gifted to you you should be able to do with it what you want (like drop it, lose it, eat it, smoke it or, if nothing else comes to mind, let the dog chew it). The trick, however, my dear Ramana, and I am afraid you missed it with this particular friend, to never let on!

    Anyway, what was the gadget?

    Ursula recently posted..Holes in the fabric

    1. It was a portable reading lamp which can be charged when not in use through a regular power connection plug. I gave it to a friend who can make better use of it as he lives in the rural parts where power cuts are unpredictable, whereas I live in a city where even power cuts can be managed with inverters and batteries.

  4. In principle it’s yours to do as you please. However, we all believe that we know the recipients of our gifta and are sure that we have given well. finding out that we haven’t is hard to cope with for many people.
    I have a sister who always gives me “smelly stuff” for birthdays (and often for the winter celebrations). This year and for the first time she managed to find a scent that did not end up in the local charity shop or in the “Gift drawer”. Rather than my usual , “Thank you for my present.” I was able to sound excited and say how much I actually like the citrusy scent of Verveine/Verbena….
    I suspect that we all need to understand that we make mistakes from time to time.
    By the way… has any one any use for a garlic Crusher?

  5. It may not be a simple matter of who is right and who is wrong. It’s unfortunate, but, all too often, the giver gets more out of a gift than the receiver. My perception from your little story is that your friend must have enjoyed immensely the giving of the item to you only to be crushed to learn that you had apparently thought so little of his gift that you gave it away.
    Mike recently posted..Cough. Cough. Sneeze!

      1. Then the ideal thing to do in this case would have been to buy another lamp to give your rural friend and to use the one given to you, thinking warm feelings of the giver whenever you used it.
        Cheerful Monk recently posted..Surprises

        1. Not necessary any more CM. My friend and I have decided to bury the hatchet and move on. We are simply too old to carry grudges. He is exactly one month younger than I am.

  6. I do think that technically you are right, but perhaps social etiquette would suggest that it might have been more polite to ask if he minded your regifting it. I have given gifts that the recipient got rid of. I would have rather they give it back to me. 🙂
    Delirious recently posted..How to Choose and English Name

    1. It is just that as he bought it on an impulse thinking that it will be useful for me, I gave it to someone who can make better use of it than I can.

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