Saudade.

Today is my late mother’s birthday. Had she been alive, she would have been just short of a century old. For us, the four siblings she was more than a mother because she sacrificed a great deal to see that her children flourished despite a dysfunctional marriage and home.

Wherever she is, I want her to know that for the three surviving children down here, saudade is the emotion today.  And, I hope that the missing sibling is playing bridge with her, her brother and sister in law.

18 thoughts on “Saudade.”

  1. A loving tribute to your mother. As Padmini defines the “sausage” (thanks for making me laugh, Padmini, just as I was shedding a tear or more reading your brother’s post) I too feel that longing and melancholy – for my long lost maternal grandparents, the very ones who brought me up for the first few years of my life.

    You know what unsettles me, Ramana, maybe you and your readers can shed some light on this, inject your collective wisdom: I not only fear, but am convinced that I won’t grieve for my actual parents. Maybe, if they had died a long time ago, I’d still have had some remnants of a child’s natural love. Now? Now nothing. How is it possible, considering I am full of emotion for everyone and everything, that I dread the moment they die and I won’t shed an actual tear? It’s horrible. It’s not someting you can admit to in polite society. First time that I have admitted to the thought (other than recently to the Angel) and put it into writing.

    Strange thing is, and my parents don’t know this, that their breaking all contact with me nine months ago is a RELIEF to me. I know full well they are sitting waiting for an apology from me. Apology for what? My existence?

    Happy Birthday to your mother – is there any better legacy than to be cherished in memory?

    U

    1. I am not qualified to comment Ursula but, I can see where you come from and believe me, it is unusual. We are all conditioned by our experiences and react to events differently from each other depending on our own conditioning.

  2. I think the word nostalgia can also embrace the meaning implied by saudade – not just a longing for the past and a feeling that the past was somehow better, but the feeling of loss and grief and the residual love that goes with it.
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  3. a beautiful and expressive face Rummy! clear and proud. a mother of sons.
    and sweet brilliant Padmini! xo

  4. What a beautiful woman, I can see the strength in her face and bearing. Saudade I believe refers to places, memories rather than people. But a beautiful word nevertheless.

    I’ve been feeling it lately and I think (now that I think about it) my posts reflect it. Additional health challenges. I don’t want to go raging into that good night……

    XO
    WWW

  5. what a wonderful woman your mother was…giving her “all” to make sure her children got the best life right through to now.

    gotta love auto-spell – I looked at the “sausage” and wondered…then it was explained. But I thought sausages are usually sold in “links” and that seemed quite the right thing to comment with as well…
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