“Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead” is a quotation attributed to Benjamin Franklin and which has become an adage that has been handed down from generation to generation since his time. I personally think that something is a secret as long as one person knows it and as soon as someone else comes to know of it, it stops being one.
By my definition, there are many pieces of information that have been shared with me by others with the proviso that they are not to be revealed to anyone else. So, am I right in treating them as just pieces of information rather than secrets? For instance if a husband / wife pair of friends share separate intimate information about each other, what should I do with those pieces of information? One of those questions for which there is no answer!
I often say that I am an open book and that I have no secrets hidden away in some depths of my soul. Not surprisingly, I am not believed by most people who hear that. They insist that every one has secrets. My usual response is that the only secret that I keep is the fact that I don’t have secrets.
AND, there are open secrets. Quite why they are called open secrets is anybody’s guess. I live in Pune that has some great open secrets, read political corruption, that every citizen and many from other cities also know but, which remain secrets for the authorities who refuse to take action.
I know of a medium sized town where, there are at least three cuckolds who are open secrets, except that the cuckolds themselves are not aware of being cuckolds. There are also some some philanderers about whom the whole neighbourhood knows except their respective wives. Three seems to be some kind of conspiracy not to inform the offended parties about the infidelities of their spouses. Secrets being kept secrets!
My fellow 2 on 1 blogger Shackman is another open book whose take on the same topic for this week’s Friday post must be quite interesting too. Please do go over to his blog to see what his take is.
14 thoughts on “Secrets!”
It’s interesting when secrets come out and the secret-keeper explains having done so in order to not hurt the other party — often hear that reason in relationship monogamy betrayals. I, too, always heard if a secret is told to another, it ceases to be a secret. Secrets of all kinds do intrigue most people and are key in the storylines of many true and fictional books we read — especially spy tales. Yes, we frequently tell matters to select others i.e. confidences, that we expect to be treated as secrets. Are these semi-secrets and can there be such a thing — in business, with lawyers, others?
FWIW I’m still having to log in each time.
Joared recently posted..INCREDIBLE WEEK’S EVENTS
I have taken it up with WordPress Joared but, they are taking their time solving the problem. This is not peculiar to my blog but, to all WP based blogs.
Is Secret a distant cousin of a Lie? For example, if you are probed about a secret and if you want to keep it to yourself, you may lie (in some form).
Regarding No Secrets: I too think that everybody has secret(s). It is impossible to NOT have secrets. One may deny or play with technical meaning and interpretation and say otherwise. But genuinely, it is impossible, I believe.
As they say: “There are no secrets that time does not reveal.”
By the way, my idea of secret is not related to gossip. It is about the deep, hidden facts/memories or views/opinions or wishes which we cannot or do not share with anybody (not everybody…of course we wouldn’t share everything with everybody…but with any body who is closest to us).
If you go by this notion, would you still claim that you have no secrets? Or never had?
ekoshapu recently posted..Thought of The Day
Nice to be probed by you Ekoshapu. You are right. Like most people, I had my share of secrets during my younger years when I had to be circumspect due to societal pressures. At my present stage of life, I don’t. And most of the sharers of secrets or individuals who were the subject of secrets, with me are dead and gone. On the other hand, there are some aspects of my life that are personal and not to be shared with anyone which are not really secrets like my still missing my late wife or the reasons for my becoming a vegetarian and teetotaller etc. When someone asks me, I explain these to them. These are not however things that I wear on my sleeve everyday for people to see and comment or to seek sympathy / attention.
I don’t believe you’re entirely an open book either. Nobody is completely frank and open. There are good reasons for keeping some things to oneself to avoid damaging consequences. Certainly in my case, much as I would like to be totally frank, I keep all sorts of things secret to prevent negative repercussions to myself or others.
As for cuckolds and philanderers, I’m sure that in most cases the partner knows very well what’s going on, but for one reason or another they prefer to give the impression they know nothing.
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You might like to read my response to Ekoshapu. You may well be right in the assumption that the aggrieved being in the know and pretending not to be.
Another open book here.
I remember divulging my absolutely worst secret quite a while back. I also find that when I divulge, others are so relieved and share their shyte. Therapy.
We all have mean thoughts or even vengeful ones but I don’t offer rental space in my head anymore. Interestingly enough, a friend over coffee last week divulged her worst secret.
I didn’t tell her I already knew as she had been a subject of great gossip in her village.
PS I’ve been logging in for months. And don’t ever post from my device as it loses them. WP problem for sure.
Wisewebwoman recently posted..Words for Wednesday
Actually, you are more open than most open people that I know. And to be so on a blog is amazing. It is a WP problem indeed and, that does not seem to offer resolution any time soon.
Book open, a few pages dog-eared – LOL. Nice choice – a fun topic with many angles to write on.
I like that ‘dog eared pages’ bit Shackman. Nice way to express it.
as far as I can tell… the best way to find out if anyone has a really huge secret is to have them run for a political office. all the secrets will soon be revealed by eager opponents!
my life has been relatively tame. but even I have some lovely secrets. and I’ve told no one. it’s the best way to keep a secret.
I have covered the political aspect of secrets in my post Tammy and there is no need for any politician to run for office here. Even him just being in politics is enough for the secrets to spill out. Now, in real life here, the me too movement has caused quite a few heads to roll!
I haven’t heard the word cuckold in a long time.
I keep secrets for a living – people often tell me things in therapy they haven’t told anyone else. But for me, I tend to be a fairly open book with most friends. And of course, I write about very personal things on my blog.
Yes, you stride two worlds quite comfortably.
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