Six Husbands.

I came across this review in Facebook shared by my sister Padmini and having found it very interesting, am sharing here with my readers. Before I am asked whether I was all six, let me answer. no but, I was five of them.

The book, “The six husbands every wife should have” (by the way the book is written by a husband – Dr. Steven Craig) talks about how a husband has to constantly grow, evolve and renew himself at least six times, by the time he turns 60….For as people grow, their relationship and the relationship’s needs change…:) (The book’s premise is that women do it naturally as they become home-keepers and mothers and grandmothers.)
1st husband – At the time of marriage, the husband has to be fun, carefree, full of dreams and potential…The couple should make each other laugh and feel good about each other.
2nd husband – After a couple of years, the husband has to grow out of his carefree, fun and life-of-every-party ways. He needs to get established in his career and begin preparing for a family.
3rd husband – When the kids come, the husband has to learn patience, be home as much as possible, and scale down all his extracurricular activities.
4th husband – As children grow, the husband has to again reinvent himself and be more focused on kids – putting them first just as the wife does. The wife needs a ‘daddy’ more than a ‘honey’. The motto must be ‘family comes first’.
5th husband – This husband needs to help children become gradually independent; supporting them through their mistakes and growing-up pangs. He needs to be responsible and trustworthy.
6th husband – By the time children leave home, the wife becomes more confident and assertive. Now she doesn’t need a strong-but-silent man whom she can lean on – instead the husband has to become vulnerable and sensitive, who opens his heart to her and values her as an equal – leaning on her for strength at times.
The book brings to light that the very qualities a wife initially loves in her man are the very things that become a thorn in their marriage during later years – if the man doesn’t outgrow them.
For marriage is a lifelong relationship that must feed the family’s emotional needs as those needs change.
A life-partner has to continuously reinvent himself/ herself. It not only makes our marriage better, but also makes us better people – and our life more fuller.
Problems in marriage occur not because we are not good people – but because we don’t grow up.
How many men (and women) have the courage to grow, evolve and change as the dynamics of marriage and family change?

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