Story 22. Letting Go.


Grannymar in her Sunday One-liner post has this quote.
“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
~ Buddha

Letting Go is usually referred to while using this quote to let the memories of some one who is dead go. If we find such memories difficult to let go, what about letting go living persons who are loved ones as well?

I take my readers back to my story Relationships And Karma written three years ago. Since then a lot of water has flown down our Mulamutha and an update is what today’s story is all about.

The widowed daughter is back to being perfectly normal, and is back at her job. She has met a nice young man and is planning to get married to him soon. The father is back in his practice and extremely busy. The wife who followed her bliss has continued to follow her bliss.

My post had raised some interesting observations from my readers the thrust being on gender related matters like what would have been the case had the man gone following his bliss or whether he would have let her go had she chosen to go with another man and so on. These are all very valid questions and I cannot think of any one answer that will fit and that is the beauty of being human. The point however is whether we can gracefully let go of things not meant for us.

And coming to a woman letting go of a man, what can I say other than let a woman say it in her inimitable style?

18 thoughts on “Story 22. Letting Go.”

  1. In the post (linked above) you had nine comments, yet only replied to two. The focus of the remaining comments were to do with your interpretation of the good doctor’s situation: “Now, the father is saddled with his practice, his temporarily handicapped daughter and running the household”. SADDLED. Surely he had been working his medical practice for at least 25 years and knew what was involved. Saddled looking after his daughter with a broken leg??? Are you telling us that his responsibility for the fruit of his loins ended when he left the bedroom? I’m sorry, but you made it sound like his wife and daughter were goods and chattels.

    As to your point in this post. There are only two things that we can be sure of in this life:

    1. The only person you can count on being around for all of your life is, yourself.
    2. We will all die.

    People flit in and out of our lives like butterflies. Those to loudly proclaim to be ‘friends and always available’, are often distracted when you most need them. A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls just to save it from drying out completely.
    Grannymar recently posted..Sunday one liners ~ 4

    1. For the world of it, I cannot remember how I missed responding to those comments Grannymar. Totally unlike me. I am sure that I must have been preoccupied with something and it simply escaped my attention.

      You are very right that my choice of words in that story gave a different impression than it should have. I shall try and make amends by reviving those comments and responses in a separate blog post.

      You are again right about the two things the we can be sure of in our lives. That is true in almost all societies now though solid friendships like I am blessed to have with a handful of people do exist. The trick in letting those friendships flourish is in not expecting them to produce anything other than friendships. I cannot expect my friends to do for me what my son or siblings can.

  2. Ramana-athan – will be nice if you can complie all your posts in the Stories ##” series in one place. Or maybe tag them with a common search phrase.

  3. No it is not easy. Last week my youngest son cut into his leg with a chainsaw. Had I been there I could have stopped that from happening. I worry about all three of them out there on their own, & there is nothing I can do about it. I no longer have any control.

    1. I agree. My son and daughter in law live with me, or rather, I live with them and I can tell you that the amount of worry that I had when my son was a baby in arms was less than the worry that I have now when the two of them are out late in the night!

  4. what a wonderful quote.
    i am cursed with wanting to be a “fixer”. perhaps it stems from early losses. trying to head off pain of any kind for people i love.
    silly. it’s not my job.
    nothing is gained or solved by trying to control. i work on it constantly!
    giving up that awful need to control is something i struggle with every day. even just in little ways! aaagggh.
    “cause pain to ourselves more than pain to the other. that’s the rub”
    your words are so true.
    tammyj recently posted..a sea change

  5. This quote has been making its way around facebook, and while I certainly appreciate the sentiment, I cringe a little every time I see it attributed to the Buddha. He never said that. In fact, the closest thing to it is Jack Kornfield, a Buddhist writer, who said,
    “In the end, just three things matter:
    How well we have lived
    How well we have loved
    How well we have learned to let go.” The idea of things being “meant for us” is not a Buddhist concept. Things just are. The Buddhist idea is that our attachment to outcomes brings suffering, but there is nothing there about how things ought to go for us. Letting go is in deed difficult, in large part because it’s very human to be quite attached to life going a particular way.
    Secret Agent Woman recently posted..And… Quaker at the Gun Range.

  6. When I heard “Letting go” in the song, I cried. I still miss my “children” who are scattered over the nation & world. (errrrr there’s only 4 of ’em) I used to dream of empty houses, totally. No furniture, carpet, curtains. That was my “empty nest syndrome” speaking.

    1. BHB, we are two sides of the same coin. Whenever I leave my nest, my son and daughter in law, who now live with me, cry. I am their worst nightmare. They think that I will get myself into all kinds of trouble if left alone. No, not the kind of trouble that you will dream up.

Comments are closed.