Aging – Page 2 – Ramana's Musings

How Old Is Old?

“Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?’ Dunbar repeated to Clevinger. ‘This long.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you’re an old man.’

‘Old?’ asked Clevinger with surprise. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Old.’

‘I’m not old.’

‘You’re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow down?’ Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.

‘Well, maybe it is true,’ Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. ‘Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it’s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?’

‘I do,’ Dunbar told him.

‘Why?’ Clevinger asked.

‘What else is there?”

~ Joseph Heller in Catch 22.

Grumpy Old Men.

Shackman in his comments on my post Greetings And Farewells, had these two nice things to say about me.
“Wow – I never realized what a crotchety old geezer you are. :-)” and,
“Upon reflection I find you are not so much a crotchety old geezer but very much an affable, inquisitive curmudgeon like me with very little time for fools, though they (fools of course) can be very entertaining at times.”

So, I took solace that despite being over the hill as it were having crossed the proverbial three score and ten, I can at least be entertaining. All my good feelings have now come crashing down because some University in the USA has studied curmdgeons for fifteen years and has come to the conclusion that they can only progessively get worse! Shackman, what do I do now?

Aging.

This post is in response to the great discussion that has taken place between Ursula and gaelikaa in my comments box in my post on Miss Tibet.

Unfortunately, I am not able to give due credit to this wonderful illustration, as I got it as a group mail. I am unable to find the source.

Please click on the image to enlarge it and click on it again to further enlarge if needed. Believe me, it is worth taking the trouble.

My Friends Are Convinced That I am Over The Hill.

My friends, are convinced that I am now over the hill. Otherwise, I do not see any reason for receiving messages like this by email from them. I also seem to have read a blog somewhere similar to this and the blogger is hereby requested to forgive me for the repetition. This is just too important not to be posted by me.

New Alphabet
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won’t float.
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let’s be a bit more realistic instead.
Now
The Alphabet

A’s for arthritis;
B’s the bad back,
C’s the chest pains,
Perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which we’d rather not mention.
H High blood pressure–We’d rather it low;
I For incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L ‘s for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory; we forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!
P for prescriptions. We have quite a few,
Just give us a pill and we’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting our fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in our ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.
W for worry, NOW what’s going ’round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year we are left here behind,
Z is for zest WE still have — in OUR minds.

We’ve survived all the symptoms,
our body’s deployed,
and We’re keeping twenty-six
doctors fully employed.

IF YOU ARE OLD, HAVE A GREAT DAY.
IF NOT, YOUR TURN WILL COME!

What do you think? Am I over the hill?