Welcome to the Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where Anu, Ashok, Conrad, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Magpie11, Padmum and I write on the same topic. Please do visit the linked blogs to get nine different flavours of the same topic. Today’s topic has been chosen by gaelikaa.
I choose to address the topic for today from this definition of the word ‘conflict’:
“Mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands.”
I suspect that this is what gaelikaa has in mind too!
I have no conflicts as defined above, other than one. What is the only conflict that assails me?
The need to be free of all responsibilities, to enjoy my retirement, the way I had imagined it would be.
I had planned to retire at the age of 50, but was unable to till 52. At 52, our son had finished his studies and had started to work towards making a career in his chosen field of Multi Media. I suggested to my late wife that it was time that we implemented our retirement plan and start out traveling. She balked and suggested that we postpone till our son ‘settled down’. As ever, being the obedient husband, I deferred to her suggestion. But, I was bored and grabbed an opportunity for re-employment and did not look back till I was 57. At that respectable age, retirement got postponed indefinitely as my wife took ill and I had to look after her. When I was 66, my father finally retired and had no place to go to, and I invited him to come and stay with us. My wife decided that she had had enough, and decided to leave us, leaving me holding my father’s hands. He has not mentioned it, but I don’t think that this was his idea of retirement either!
As I write this, I am still holding his hands, and am no where near implementing the plans that I had so elaborately drawn up when I was in my forties.
My undertaking towers over me like a great big monolith.
It is too huge to reflect on. So, I think that I will simply go and surf the internet.
Any conflict seeks resolution. How do I reconcile this conflict. Enter Nietzsche and his wonderful Amor Fati.
I have left the resolution of my solitary conflict in Ganesha’s capable hands and have reconciled to achieving my retirement when He chooses.