Pep Chat.

Yes, I am sure that you have heard of pep talks. I just received a pep talk over the Google talk Instant Messaging System.

The chat was between a very dear friend from far away and me. I reproduce below most of it. I have just edited portions which can identify people.

Me: My life has never been mine since the late nineties. Some times I feel that the best part of my life went away due to no fault of mine and continues to do the same.

Friend: ******* saw an ad on TV about an 80 year old father and a 60 year old son and she said that it reminded her of you. Ramana, the best is yet to come.

Me: Things I want / wanted to do, friends whose fellowship I miss, places that I want to visit etc the list is endless.

Friend: There’s plenty of time. Besides you have us! Me, ******* etc, you know!

Me: Except that all eligible women call me Uncle. Or Brother or Bother too.

Friend: But just see how attractive you are. ******** fantasises about you and she’s never met you! Just see the aura that comes off you even over the net! You are no bother at all.

Me: Aura will not get me what I want.

Friend: You have an aura of magnetism. Besides there’s that gorgeous dark brown voice, not to mention your aristocratic bearing.

Me: Ha ha!!

Friend: For Heaven’s sake pal, you’re a babe magnet. The sort of women who like reading M&B romances would swoon over the likes of you.

Me: Send some over will you? The locals all want to know my bank balance.

Friend: Ah! just say less and keep them guessing.

Nice to have such motivating friends in my life, don’t you think? Do you have any who can pull you out of a spell of whymeitis like this friend did me?

Praise!

This cartoon  in one of my favourite news papers set me thinking of not only my past but also my current situation.

Go to any Leadership training program or read a book on leadership and the point of giving praise to people who work keeps getting hammered again and again. This is one of the motivational tools that all people in Supervisory and Managerial positions are supposed to use liberally.

Personally, I have found it very effective to give and receive both.

When Urmeela was alive, she would inevitably praise me for some dish or the other that I hustled up for her or for something that I did for her or whatever and I would feel like an Emperor. Ranjan learnt this trick from her and uses it liberally on me to great effect too.

In other words, I am thoroughly spoilt.

It was too good to last. My father belongs to that generation that takes being served by the women of the house and children for granted. If at all any comment is made, it has to be criticism. Under no circumstances should the underlings be praised, lest they get uppity and forget their station in life.

I am his first born. In other words that fortunate creation who took the maximum brunt of such thinking as a child and a teenager. For him, despite my now being a grand uncle to scores of kids, father of a 39 year old son and a fairly respected elder member of the society does not matter. I can not come up to his standards. Full stop.

I can relate to that cartoon. Can you?