On my way back from the hair cutting saloon yesterday evening, I tripped over, hold your breath, a pebble, and fell down flat on my face. A passing motorcyclist stopped and the pillion rider a strapping young man got down to help me up. He underestimated the weight he would have to lift and slipped on the same gravel that was my nemesis and fell down too. Now this must have been a very comic scene for the rider of the bike who started to laugh uncontrollably, I flatter myself not at my predicament but at his friend’s and in the process, somehow managed to loose his balance and fell down with the motorcycle.
Can you imagine the spectacle? It must have been like slap stick comedy for other spectators, though we, most certainly I, were too busy gathering our wits and getting up to notice.
The comedy routine was complete when I was the first one to get up, and I helped the guy below the motorcycle up by moving it away from him. If you recollect, this was the bloke who started the laugh riot in the first place.
After all three were up and we dusted ourselves off and we thanked each other, all three of us had a good laugh. And I said to the two young men that it was a pity that there was no one around with a movie camera to have filmed the whole routine!
Schadenfreude by
GARY COLEMAN:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
NICKY:
I’ll say.
GARY COLEMAN:
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me…
Happy!
NICKY:
Happy?!
GARY COLEMAN:
Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It’s…
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I’m not you.
NICKY:
Well that’s not very nice, Gary!
GARY COLEMAN:
I didn’t say it was nice! But everybody does it!
D’ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?
NICKY:
Yeah…
GARY COLEMAN:
And ain’t it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?
NICKY:
Sure!
GARY COLEMAN:
And don’tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!
NICKY:
You bet!
GARY COLEMAN:
That’s…
GARY AND NICKY:
Schadenfreude!
GARY COLEMAN:
People taking pleasure in your pain!
NICKY:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What’s that, some kinda Nazi word?
GARY COLEMAN:
Yup! It’s German for “happiness at the misfortune of others!”
NICKY:
“Happiness at the misfortune of others.” That is German!
Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
GARY COLEMAN:
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!
NICKY:
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts “Hold the door!”
GARY AND NICKY:
“No!!!”
Schadenfreude!
GARY COLEMAN:
“Fuck you lady, that’s what stairs are for!”
NICKY:
Ooh, how about…
Straight-A students getting Bs?
GARY COLEMAN:
Exes getting STDs!
NICKY:
Waking doormen from their naps!
GARY COLEMAN:
Watching tourists reading maps!
NICKY:
Football players getting tackled!
GARY COLEMAN:
CEOs getting shackled!
NICKY:
Watching actors never reach
GARY AND NICKY:
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
GARY COLEMAN:
The world needs people like you and me who’ve been knocked around by fate.
‘Cause when people see us, they don’t want to be us, and that makes them feel great.
NICKY:
Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!
GARY AND NICKY:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place…
Making the world a better place…
Making the world a better place…
To be!
GARY COLEMAN:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!