“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”
~ Woody Allen
Let me explain why I dug up that quote.
There is a bit of painting work going on in my home and I got some wet paint on to a favourite white kurta. I would have normally sent the kurta with my Jeeves to the local dry cleaner to get the stain removed but since I was going out for a pedicure anyway, I decided to go myself. To my surprise, I saw the establishment being run by a very smart lady, rather unusual for that business here. She took one look at the stain and said that it was hopeless and if I wanted to wear the kurta I should dye the whole garment to the colour of the paint, chocolate brown! I was taken aback and exclaimed that I could not very well wear a brown kurta as I would look weird. The lady promptly suggested that if Amitabh Bachhan can wear coloured kurtas, I could too.
I hemmed and hawed and suggested that I was not in the same league to which, the lady said, that it was the Big B who was not in my league!
What speed gear should I have changed to?
PS. I took her advise and have arranged for the kurta to be dyed. I shall wear it and take a photograph to publish a follow up post to this.