Conspiracy Theories.

Welcome to the Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium where Anu, Ashok, Conrad, Delirious,gaelikaa, Grannymar, Padmum and I write on the same topic. Please do visit the linked blogs to get five different flavours of the same topic. Today’s topic has been chosen by Conrad.

I am not surprised that Conrad chose this subject. He is a past master at hatching conspiracies, ably assisted and abetted by the inimitable Grannymar.

Let me explain.

After the last week’s LBC was posted, Grannymar and Conrad brainwashed Padmum into becoming a member of the LBC and that unsuspecting sweetheart succumbed to their charms and agreed. For those of my readers who do not know, Padmum is the nom de plume of my one and only blood sister Padmini. I make that distinction, before my other sister, also an LBC member, gaelikaa objects. The latter is my adopted sister is no less capable of conspiracies. I dread the day when the four of them. two Irish at that, hatch another conspiracy.

Now that Grannymar’s and Conrad’s proclivity for conspiracies has now been exposed, let me turn to some more mundane conspiracy theories.

The most popular one in our back yard, is our neighbour’s tendency to come up with conspiracy theories every time a suicide bomber kills himself and scores of other innocent bystanders, in their back yard. Since the Americans have started drone attacks however, the theories have taken off into orbit about how the Jewish American/Israeli/Hindu enemies have conspired to destroy Pakistan. Before Sri Lanka destroyed the LTTE, the conspirators inevitably included the Hindu LTTE till it was discovered that the LTTE was predominantly Christian in composition. After the Indian security agencies unearthed Hindu extremists setting off bombs, our neighbour has simply given up on India but the American/Israeli hand is seen in everything. The latest that does the rounds is that even the Middle Eastern uprisings are engineered by these very Satanic conspirators. I would not be surprised if the Japanese earth quake, tsunami and their after effects on the nuclear power situation is also attributed to this evil axis.

The Indian media has so far not started off on this kind of conspiracy theories, but I would not be surprised if they too start, if their ratings go South.

I have a paranoid relative, a very close one at that, who is convinced that all the others in the family conspire to badmouth him and to destroy his reputation. At an appropriate time that saga will unfold in my future blog posts.

Now, I better go off the subject before I become paranoid too. Or am I already paranoid?

Mother of all Jokes!

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk..

The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and start’s flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.

This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.’

Yes, I remember him as a baby’ says the other mother cheerfully.

He’s a martyr now though‹ the mother confides Oh, so sad dear’ says the

And this is my second son, Khalid.He would have been 21.’

Oh, I remember him,’ says the other happily, he had such curly hair when he
was born.’

He’s a martyr too’ says the mother quietly.

‘Oh, gracious me . . . ‘ says the other.

‘And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.

He would have been 18′, she whispers.

Yes’ says the friend enthusiastically, ‘I remember
when he first started school’

He’s a martyr also,’ says the mother, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother
looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says

They blow up so fast, don’t they!!!