The Ring Bearer Lets Me Down.

tolkeing ring

My friend and ring bearer Conrad has gone and done the unimaginable. He has lost the ring on which so much depended of my future. It is now in such hands that I doubt very much that he will be able to recover it again.

You can see the immediate fall out with my betrothed swearing off marriage for ever. Okay, I can understand the stranger speaking French in Paris failing and an Englishman failing and succeeding with an American, but I had high hopes, what being an Indian, and the original version at that, who could speak reasonably good English, who can lay claims to a home very near the Marylebone Registry Office. I had also assumed that the betrothal will last for ever what with Conrad assuring the safe keeping of the ring and promising to produce it at need.

Now, all hope is lost and I am devastated. The only thing that can undevastate me is for my betrothed to agree to be satisfied with a Mangalsutra.

21 thoughts on “The Ring Bearer Lets Me Down.”

  1. My dear Ramana, let’s get some order back into both our story line and proceedings.

    The Ring (shackle) Bearer is of a most reliable disposition. So where you get the idea from the he won’t perform as expected I do not know. Also, do not lose heart in the wake of my last post. Cross continent – particularly with an Indian (such an attractive race) does me just fine. And whilst I will lose my much cherished freedom I shall gain not only you but your brother (dear dog in heaven), and that delicious son of yours; then there is Nandu and who else you may be hiding in the cupboard of your life. So please do be ‘undevastated’, Ramana. I love the charm of your Mangalsutra.

    Since you confused Maria who clearly can’t follow our romance as it has been unfolding in increments over the years, we will make her the flower girl. It’ll suit her wide eyed innocence.

    Ursula recently posted..Not on your nelly

    1. After dispatching my dreamy post to you I went to the kitchen to chop a carrot, an onion, gearing up to one of my comfort dishes based on lentils. Then it came to me why you think the shackle bearer has given up the ring. Ramana, don’t worry: It’s only on loan. And just round the corner from where I live. Extraordinary. I shall gaze at it lovingly and report back to you on my findings, not least as to fingerprints.

      Ursula recently posted..Not on your nelly

  2. see? she said right there she’d be satisfied with your mangalsutra.
    who wants an old ring with the ancient inscription of venus on it anyway?
    i’d give your marriage a good three months at least.
    then you’d be at each other’s brilliant and witty throats.
    then gollum would get the mangalsutra.
    and there you go . . .
    just another hit for hollywood!
    tammy j recently posted..and then he laughed

    1. Tammy, do have some faith. Please. Three months? Ramana and I will not short change each other, neither is our boredom threshold low. Any sparks flying will be a joy and a sight to behold. Obviously his charming brother Barath already proving an obstacle to unadulterated bliss. Still, there will always be a fly in the ointment; and I have turned many a thorn in my flesh into a smling rose.

      Ursula recently posted..Not on your nelly

    2. Tammy, three months? I am long distance runner though I don’t quite know if Ursula is a sprinter or a marathoner, I most certainly will try for a longer spell. And before Hollywood, Bollywood would line up for first refusal.

    1. Looney, you are welcome to my invitation as clearly referred to as “the dog in heaven” this would be a ceremony I would gladly miss, and possibly even pay to do so!!

      1. Barath, my my, aren’t we a little touchy. What a fine future prospect you turn out to be. Where you and your brother differ considerably is that he surrendered and succumbed to my charms, keeps me on a long and forgiving leash and generally doesn’t seem to be short in the humoUr department. Patient and loyal beyond the call of duty.

        Whilst the Barnacle (that’s Looney) has long been on our list of invites (in fact, he may give an address in his newly acquired Hebrew) you, my dear Barath, are not the dog in heaven I was referring to. I address HIM, in moments of exasperation and anticipation, by reading his name backwards. JESUS CHRIST! Do I have to spell out everything? So, if you want to miss out on the do of the centenary and not grace us with your presence the only one who will be sorry is you. Actually, me too. I do need someone I can tease mercifully.

        Ursula recently posted..Not on your nelly

  3. Ursula is quite correct, my friend. Never would I part with the Ring after the perils I endured to acquire it. It is safe right here in my pocket …

    Ummm … It is safe right here in the other pocket …

    Shoot! Let me see if Lady Fossil found it in the laundry again.
    The Old Fossil recently posted..Broken Relationships

    1. Old Foss, I await the day you mistake the ring for a Smartie and swallow it. Then you’ll really regret you ever took upon you this onerous task.

      By way of damage limitation: Make sure you won’t flush in a rush.

      Ursula recently posted..Not on your nelly

  4. i take it all back!
    such certitude. oh i like that word. have never used it before!
    such certitude is admirable. blessings on your heads!
    let bollywood find their own plots!!! hugs to you both! oh. ok.
    here’s just ONE more exclamation point… since you love them so !
    tammy j recently posted..a shy and gentle friend

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