Trust / Mistrust / Deficit Of Trust.


As part of my alma mater’s silver jubilee celebrations, alumni in Pune met some time ago, using the occasion of a visit to Pune by an alumnus of our very first batch, to felicitate him and another alumnus of the same batch now resident in Pune. During that meeting some alumni shared their experiences as flash-back to highlight the changes at the institute between the first batch and the latest in ten year gaps. One such alumnus made a particular mention of something that he found novel in the hostel dormitory where there was a pantry where residents would draw stock and make entries in a register and effect payment once a month. For him this was a novel experience and he was overwhelmed by the Trust factor involved.

Another alumnus who was present dug up an old article written by a media personality in a newspaper some years ago and shared it with us. I went looking for it in the web but instead of that, found another very interesting article by the same personality which is on the deficit of trust!

The only formula that I have on relationships is that I trust the other person till I am proved otherwise and after that, the relationship simply ceases to exist. This has saved me from all kinds of problems. Using my formula I have lived my life on a trusting relationship basis and have not suffered any major setbacks because of that. I therefore find the article a little unsettling for the truth contained in it.

How do you react to the article?

12 thoughts on “Trust / Mistrust / Deficit Of Trust.”

  1. I have to admit – your method makes a lot of sense – you clearly have enough faith in your ability to recognize a charlatan and so why assume everyone is one – a charlatan that is. As long as we live in societies wherein the news media operates under the for profit model it is in their interest to stir the pot as often as possible to ensure new readers/subscribers and a continued influx of advertising dollars. Of course – if in the sample provided – the accused is acquitted the entire cycle starts anew with stories about how people rushed to judgment on the poor guy, ruined his life and so on.

    1. We have a highly politically charged story exactly like that going around and it is not funny. The other one is how the world is reacting to two major issues – the Israel / Hamas conflict and the Ukraine / Russia conflict. The shooting of the plane has not helped matters.

  2. i have been banging on about this for ages! i expressed it as the dominance of fear rather than a trust deficit but it is the same thing so i was interested to see the phenomenon expressed in the opposite way.
    it distresses me to see so many people in fear about so many things and it aggravates me to know that there are people out there who aggravate and play on and profit from other people’s fear. It stinks.

    i know people who say they are too trusting or naive and i always say to them “would you prefer to be the other way?” they always say no.

    trust makes us vulnerable at times but ultimately i think we live richer happier lives when we trust.

    interestingly enough, a large part of my role in childbirth is to help people use trust and intuition in their lives as parents: i want women to trust their bodies to achieve a healthy birth, i try to help men to trust their wives as mothers and themselves as fathers, i hope parents can learn to trust themselves as the experts on their own children
    kylie recently posted..Love is a sacred reserve of energy; it is like the blood of spiritual evolution.

    1. Kylie, you will find many to support to you over here. There is now increasing fear as well as mistrust spreading everywhere primarily due to rapid urbanisation and a dominant male culture with single young men in cities going berserk. Big sociological problems that need to be tackled on priority.

  3. I am a very trustworthy person. In fact this may sound quite odd, but because I am acutely aware of just how trustworthy I am, I seem able to draw more benefit from that fact than perhaps those acquainted with me. It’s important to have respect for yourself and no one knows the kind of person you really are better than yourself, whether you are honest enough to admit it or not. Knowing I am trustworthy is very healthy and uplifting mentally I feel.

    I have not had any close relationships over the past several years so in my life that is not an issue I currently deal with but it is one of very great importance to me. If I deem one as untrustworthy, they will obviously never get to know the real me and I’m sure that is quite true with most like me who hold the trust factor as sacred. I have trusted very few during my lifetime, for the better or the worse of it.

    Being yourself trustworthy is often very hard given certain circumstances but in the end to hold to your values trumps those moments which try you to your limits.
    Alan G recently posted..Movie Review – “Gravity” (2013)

    1. This is an interesting point of view of being a trust worthy person whereas my post was more about one’s inability to trust others. So, trustworthy persons can indeed have puzzling reactions from people who do not easily trust.

  4. Interesting. I am divided on this subject. Certainly with those close to me, I maintain a trust balance. On media issues, maybe not so much. First of all, I have little trust in the press. From there it is a matter of whether the story feeds my beliefs, I suppose. In sociology we learn that we believe those things which support our belief system. If I believed that all men are animals…(I don’t, btw) I would believe the story about the child-rapist without much questioning. If I believed that nothing like this could ever happen, I would respond with “No way!”
    Mother recently posted..The Grandparent Thing

  5. You have a simple formula for trust in relationships and I envy you the clarity and conviction. Trust is also very important in my life and relationships. I find that from time to time I lose the security of feeling that I can trust a particular person. Sometimes, things happen that shake up my trust. When I was younger I also removed such people from my emotional life. Now I am not that courageous or not that certain that I should not accept in my life people with weaknesses or even vices. Things became gray rather than black and while. Maybe it is about a degree of being disappointed?
    The article is interesting and stirring. Quite pessimistic in fact but I observe the same symptoms. Definitely a subject to reflect on seriously.
    Anna recently posted..YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

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